孔雀东南飞

　　wanderseveryfivemiles

　　焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)

　　焦母johnny’smother(jmforshort)刘母lunch’smother(lmforshort)

　　太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)强盗burglars(a&b)

　　prologue

　　(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)

　　j:everybodysaysthati’mhenpecked,butinfact,i’mastrongtiger,(小声)whilemy

　　wifeiswusong.

　　(指着上台处的门大声道)i’mnotafraidofyou!

　　(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.sheisbraverthanme,smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.allthisidon’tcare.ionlywantshetobetenderthanme.butsheisnot!havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!

　　(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)

　　mygod!whocanhelpme?(下)

　　act1

　　(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)

　　jm(拄拐棍上):(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!whereareyou?

　　l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’mhere!what’sup,mum?

　　jm:ihavetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmotherinlaw”.

　　l:ok.mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?

　　jm:sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,solazy……

　　l:but……

　　jm:neverinterruptme!

　　l:neverinterruptme!sinceimarriedyourson,thatterriblejohnny,ihavebeenworkinghardalldaylong,cookingandwashing!ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken

　　and……

　　jm:butallthoseyouhavedonearen’tasvaluableasagrandson!

　　l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,youwantagrandson?(开始解围裙)goandaskyourson.i’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)

　　act2

　　(l拿着锅铲拨电话)

　　嘟嘟嘟嘟……

　　l:Hello,Isthatmum!?

　　lm:Yes,honey,whathappened?

　　l:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.

　　Lm（大声啊大声）:see!whenyouinsistedonmarryingthatterriblejohnny,itoldyouthatheisuglytupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlistentome!

　　l：but,mum……

　　lm:neverinterruptme!

　　l:i’mnotinterruptingyou!ijustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightok?Andi’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.

　　lm(大喜):nicegirl!justnow,imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.hesaid:“ifyourdaughter

　　haven’tbeenmarried,ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”nowyouarefreeagain,i’llgo

　　andtellhim.（挂电话）

　　l(握着电话,惊愕):what?themayor’sson?themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅

　　铲掉在地上)whatasillythingihavedone!(下)

　　act3

　　(j睡眼惺忪上)

　　j(边走边道):lunch!lunch!wherearemysocks?

　　(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)heretheyare!(闻一下)er!howsmelly!

　　(突然想起)lunchhasgone!ihavetowashthemmyself.

　　jm(上):where’smybreakfast?where’sLunch?

　　j:mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!

　　jm(沉吟片刻):well,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanicegirl,goandtakeherback!

　　j(立正敬礼):yesmadam!

　　act4

　　(j开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)

　　a:（伸手拦路）stop!

　　theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)

　　b:andiplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上,但踩到了a的脚,a抱脚跳做痛苦状)

　　b:ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---

　　a、b:giveusallyourmoney!

　　j(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角纸币):is1maoenough?

　　(2强盗晕倒状,接着聚在一边商量)

　　a:whatbadluck!th