(英语高手看过来,帮我修改一份英文的自我介绍)的修改后文章在-查字典问答网
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  (英语高手看过来,帮我修改一份英文的自我介绍)的修改后文章在上篇文章中,每一位高手都让我受益非浅.对文章的多处作了修改,另外又添加了一些之前工作的经历,忘各位高手有空来看看哪里

  (英语高手看过来,帮我修改一份英文的自我介绍)的修改后文章

  在上篇文章中,每一位高手都让我受益非浅.对文章的多处作了修改,另外又添加了一些之前工作的经历,忘各位高手有空来看看哪里还需要修饰,

  6monthsagoIwasgraduatedandjoinedintheShanghai**FurnitureCompany,Ltd,andbecameamemberofthesociety.Myfirstjobisatradingassistant,IknowthereismuchknowledgeIneedtolearnclearly.TheknowledgewhichIlearntfrombooksisverylimited,soIwanttolearnmoreknowledgefromworkstoincreasemysocialexperiences.

  Inmyfirstjob,mymainworkistakingchargeofpartofthecorrespondenceworksincompany,andtranslatesproductintroductionsintoChinese,andcontactwithoursupplierandsoon.Usually,thecustomerfromothercountries,Iwillpickthemupandarrangethemtothehoteltotakearest.Atthetimeofworking,Iamresponsibleforrecordproductsinformationwhichthecustomerrequireweneedstomodified,forexamplewhereneedtobeimproved,whereunqualified,etc.Afterthat,Ineedtotelltheinformationtoourworkerswhichplacestoneedtobeimprovedandinsuringfinishedproductscanmakecustomersatisfied.

  BecauseofmymajorincollegeisBusinessEnglish,Ihopetofindajobwhichisrelativetomymajor,sothatIcouldmastertheprofessionknowledgeasquicklyaspossible,thenmakethemintopractice.Inthetradingfield,therearegoodchanceseverywhere,butonlyapreparedmancancatchit.However,Ithinkprofessionisnottheonlystandardformyjob-hunting.

  Throughyourcompany'swebsite,Iknowyouareabigsockbusinesscompanybasically,andtakeamoreshareinthemarket.Iwanttogetintoaregularcompanytopracticemyselfbetter,andmakemoreprofitsforthecompany.AlthoughIdidn’thavemoreprofessionknowledgeincottoncracyfield(纺织业,),butIbelieve“everythingispossible”.Asanexcellentgraduatedstudent,IthinkthemostadvantageisthatIhavestrongabilityofconsistentlylearningnewthings.NomatterwhatIdo,Ishouldhaveagoodabilitytoacceptnewbusinessandmasteritinashorttime.That’sthereasonwhyIchooseyourcompany.

  Shanghai,asafashionable,modern,metropolitancityofChina,islocatedwithmillionsofMultinationalcompany,overseas-fundedenterprises,whichwillneedalotofpersonswhohavecomprehensiveknowledge,soI’mlearningJapanese,compu

1回答
2020-07-23 15:05
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刘承罡

  修改后,只是语法等方面.不过你如果真的是商务英语专业的话,你就不要看我的了.我只是按照自己的思路改了一下,把你那些明显的中国式英语改了一下.

  6monthsagoIgraduatedandjoinedtheShanghai**FurnitureCompany,Ltd,becameamemberofthesociety.Myfirstjobwasatradingassistant,IknewtherewasmuchknowledgethatIneededtolearn.TheknowledgewhichIlearntfrombookswasverylimited,soIwantedtolearnmorefromworkstoincreasemysocialexperiences.

  Atthattime,mymainworkwastakingchargeofpartofthecorrespondenceworksincompany,translatedproductintroductionsintoChinese,andcontactedwithoursupplierandsoon.UsuallyIpickedcustomersupwhocamefromothercountries,andarrangedthehotel.Duringthattime,Iwasresponsibletocheckoutproductsinformationtahtcustomersrequired,suchassomethingthatneededtobeimproved,somthingthatunqualified,etc.Andthen,Ihadtotellourworkerstheseinformation,tomakesomeimproveandmakecustomerssatisfied.

  BecausemymajorisBusinessEnglishincollege,Ihopetofindajobrelativedtomyprofession,soIcouldmastertheprofessionalknowledgeasquicklyaspossible,thenmakethemintopractice.Inthetradingfield,goodchancesareeverywhere,butonlyapreparedmancancatchit.However,Ithinkprofessionisnottheonlystandardformyjob-hunting.

  Throughyourcompany'swebsite,Iknowyourcompanyisabigsockbusinesscompanybasically,andgoningtotakemoreshareinthemarket.Iwanttogetintoacompanylikeyourstopracticemyselfbetter,andmakemoreprofitsforthecompany.AlthoughIdidn’thavemoreprofessionknowledgeincottontraedfield(纺织业,不知对不对?),butIbelieve“everythingispossible”.Asanexcellentgraduatedstudent,IthinkmyadvantageisthatIhavestrongabilityofconsistentlylearningnewthings.NomatterwhatIdo,Ihavegoodabilitytoacceptnewbusinessandmasteritinashorttime.That’sthereasonwhyIchooseyourcompany.

  Shanghai,asafashionable,modern,metropolitancityofChina,islocatedwithmillionsofMultinationalcompany,overseas-fundedenterprises,whichwillneedalotofpersonswhohavecomprehensiveknowledge,soI’mlearningJapaneseandcomputerskillsinmysparetime.

  IwassopreparedthatIcouldcatchthechancewhenitiscoming.Ifyouchooseme,Iwonnotletyoudown

2020-07-23 15:06:46

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