1.Virtue

　　Manyyearsafterreceivingmygraduatedegree,IreturnedtotheStateUniversityofNewYorkatBinghamtonasafacultymember.Onedayinacrowdedelevator,someoneremarkedonitsinefficiency.Isaidtheelevatorshadnotchangedinthe20yearssinceIbeganthereasastudent.

　　Whenthedoorfinallyopened,Ifeltacompassionatepatonmyback,andturnedtoseeanelderlynunsmilingatme."You'llgetthatdegree,dear,"shewhispered."Perseveranceisavirtue."

　　美德

　　获取研究生学位多年以后,我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员.一天,电梯里很拥挤,有人抱怨电梯效率太低.我说自我在那里当学生起,20年来电梯一直没有换过.

　　最后当电梯门打开时,我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下,回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑.“你会拿到学位的,亲爱的,”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德.”

　　2.Difference

　　"Icanalwaystellagraduateclassfromanundergraduateclass,"observedtheinstructorinoneofmygraduateengineeringcoursesatCaliforniaStateUniversityinLosAngeles."WhenIsay,'Goodafternoon,'theundergraduatesrespond,'Goodafternoon."Butthegraduatestudentsjustwriteitdown."

　　区别

　　“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来,”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说.“我说‘下午好’,本科生们回答说‘下午好’.研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上.”

　　3.TooLong

　　Thetraveleditorofanewspapercalled,sayingshewasfinallyusinganarticleIhadwrittenseveralyearsearlier.Shewantedtobesurethetourinformationwasstillcorrect."Ialsowantedtomakecertain,"shesheepishlyconfessed,"thatyou'restillalive.Wheneverthewriterhasdied,IknowI'veheldastorytoolong."

　　太久

　　一家报纸的旅行版编辑打开电话,说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章.她想确定那旅游信息是否还可靠.“我还想确定,”她怯怯地坦白道：“您是否还健在.每次发现作者已经不在人世了,我才知道我将文章压得太久了.”

　　4.ChargeforBreadandButter

　　Someyearsago,mydad,anattorney,tookmetoafancyrestaurantinNowYorkCity.Whenthebillarrived,therewasa$1.50chargeforbreadandbutter.Dadpaidthebill,includingthechargeforbreadandbutter.However,thenextday,hesentalettertotheresturantstatingthatthechargewasuncalledfor.Enclosedinthesameenvelopewasabillfor$500inlegalservices.

　　Someonefromtherestaurantcalledimmediatelyandasked,"Whatisthis$500billfor?Weneverorderedanylegalservices."

　　Dadreplied,"Ineverorderedanybreadandbutter."

　　The$1.50wasreturnedwithoutdelay.

　　面包和黄油费

　　几年前,我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆.帐单上来时,上面有1.5美元的面包和黄油费.爸爸付了帐,连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了.但是第二天,他给餐馆寄了一封信,说那项收费是没有道理的.随信还寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单.

　　餐馆马上打来电话,问道：“这500美元的收费单是怎么回事?我们从来没有要什么法律机构的服务.”

　　爸爸答道,“我也从来没有要什么面包和黄油.”

　　那1.5美元立即就寄了回来.

　　5.SleepingPills

　　Bobwashavingtroublegettingtosleepatnight.Hewenttoseehisdoctor,whoprescribedsomeextra-strongsleepingpills.

　　SundaynightBobtookthepills,sleptwellandwasawakebeforeheheardthealarm.Hetookhistimegettingtotheoffice,strolledinandsaidtohisboss:"Ididn'thaveabitoftroublegettingupthismorning."

　　"That'sfine,"roaredtheboss,"butwherewereyouMondayandTuesday?"

　　安眠药

　　鲍勃晚上失眠.他去看医生,医生给他开了一些强力安眠药.

　　星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药,睡得很好,在闹钟响之前就醒了过来.他到了办公室,遛达进去,对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有.”

　　MuchWorse那就更糟了

　　Policeman:Whydidn'tyoushoutforhelpwhenyouwererobbedofyourwatch?

　　Man:IfIhadopenedmymouth,they'dhavefoundmyfourgoldteeth.Thatwouldbemuchworse.

　　警察：有人抢你的手表时,你为什么