请英语达人帮忙改改作文,Thespeakersassertthattheconservationoftheenergyneedtheinternationalcooperation,nottheindividualsacrifice.Istronglysupporttheopinion,asweallknowthatthereisnorealrelationshipbetweentwoco

　　请英语达人帮忙改改作文,

　　Thespeakersassertthattheconservationoftheenergyneedtheinternationalcooperation,nottheindividualsacrifice.Istronglysupporttheopinion,asweallknowthatthereisnorealrelationshipbetweentwocountry,onlythepoliticalandeconomicinterestwhichisthetruefactordeterminetheextentofthefriendship,soitisimpossiblethatonecountrysacrificeforothercountriesvoluntarilyandgetsnothing.Basedonthispoint,Ithinktheinternationalcooperationiscriticalfortheenergyconservation.

　　Firstofall.IwanttotaketheUnitedNationsasanexamplewhichcanillustratemypointclearly.WhywastheUNestablishedandwhatisthepurpose?TheUNwasformallyestablishedaftertheworldWarTwo(WWT)inordertostrengthentheconnectionsamongtheworldcountriesandtopreventthebigscaleofdestructivewarliketheWWT.Morethansixtyyearshasbeenpassed,theperformanceofUNispalpable,ithadplayedakeyroleintheinternationalaffairsmorethanonce,itrescuemanyinnocentlivesintheAfricaanddiminishcountlessregionalwars.allinall,theestablishmentofUNwaspredictableandgreatsuccess.theexampleabouttheUNcanbeappliedtosolvetheproblemregardingtheenergyconservation,inthisthings,wealsoneedaworldwidecooperationtosetanagreementordealprotectingtheenergy.

　　Secondly,thoughsomeindividualcountriescanmakeconcessionssacrificingthemselvestobenefitothers,thesebehaviorsishelplessforthebigplan.Becausethedistributionofenergyisnotcenteredononecountryortwocountries,theeffortofoneortwocountriesisless,weneedmanycountries’cooperation.,onlybythis,wecanaccomplishthegoaltheenergyconservation.

　　Inconclusion,accordingtothesuccessexperienceofestablishmentofUNandthegeographicaldistributionofenergy,theinternationalcooperationisnecessaryfortheenergyconservation.

　　作文题目是:"期望单个国家肚子做出牺牲是以保存能源是不可能的,如果我们要为后代保护地球上的能源,国际领导和全球范围内的合作是必不可少的".请讨论你在多大程度上同意或者不同意以上的观点.大家细心给改下,不怕被喷,只求能进步!改的好的有加分!希望能在用词和句式上给改进.