Englishisthemostwidelyusedlanguageinthehistoryofourplanet.OneineverysevenhumanbeingsaroundtheglobecanspeakEnglish.Andmorethanhalfoftheworld'sbooksandthree-quartersofinternationalmailarewritteninthiscrazytongue

　　Englishisthemostwidelyusedlanguageinthehistoryofourplanet.OneineverysevenhumanbeingsaroundtheglobecanspeakEnglish.Andmorethanhalfoftheworld'sbooksandthree-quartersofinternationalmailarewritteninthiscrazytongue.Ofalllanguages,Englishhasthelargestvocabulary----perhapsasmanyastwomillionwords.

　　However,let'sfaceit!Englishisacrazylanguage!Forexample,thereisnoeggintheeggplant,andyouwillfindneitherpinenorappleinapineappleandnohaminahamburger,Sweetmeatsarecandies,whilesweetbreadswhicharenotsweet,aremeat.

　　WetakeEnglishforgranted.Butwhenweexploreitsparaboxes(矛盾),wefindthatquicksandcanworkslowly,boxingringsaresquareandpublicathroomshavenobathsinthem.

　　Andwhyisitthatawriterwrites,butfingersdonotfing,grocersdon'tgroce,andhammersdon'tham?Iftheplural(复数)oftoothisteeth,shouldn'tthepluralofboothbebeeth?Onegoose,twogeese----soonemoose,twomeese?

　　Howcanaslimchanceandafatchancebethesame,whileawisemanandawiseguyareopposites?Howcanoverlookandoverseebeopposites,whilequitealotandquiteafewarealikeHowcantheweatherbehotashellonedayandcoldashellthenext?

　　Englishwasinventedbypeople,notbycomputers,anditreflectsthecreativityofthehumanrace(which,ofcourse,isnotreallyaraceatall）.Thatiswhy,whenstarsareouttheyarevisible,butwhenthelightsareouttheyareinvisible.Andwhy,whenIwindupmywatchIstartit,butwhenIwindupthisessayIendit."