求帮忙批改雅思大作文.Topic：Successfulsportsprofessionalscanearnagreatdealmoremoneythanpeopleinotherimportantprofessions.Somepeoplethinkthisisfullyjustifiedwhileothersthinkitisunfair.Discussboththeseviewsand

　　求帮忙批改雅思大作文.

　　Topic：Successfulsportsprofessionalscanearnagreatdealmoremoneythanpeopleinotherimportantprofessions.Somepeoplethinkthisisfullyjustifiedwhileothersthinkitisunfair.

　　Discussboththeseviewsandgiveyourownopinion.

　　求帮忙批改打分加评价修改.

　　Inthisdayandage,famoussportstarscanearnalargeamountofmoneythantheprofessionalsinotherareas,whichintriguesaheateddebateoverthistopic.

　　Itisarguedthatthisphenomenonisnatural.Themajorityofthesportsmanaresenttothetrainningschoolintheirchildhood,inwhichtheypracticeskillsyearafteryear.Nopains,nogains.Thesportsprofessionalssacarificetheirhappiestyoungagetoperforminthecompetitionthepeopleallovertheworldmaybeinterestedin.Itisjustifiedforthembeingcapableofmakeenoughmoney.Somepeople,however,objectitforitisunfairfortheotherprofessionals.Theyholdtheviewthatitmaycausesmoreteenagerstakepartinthesportingareainsteadoflearninghardertogetothercareers.Thoseofficersdevotethemsevestoacareerdeserveacomparativehighsalaryfortheircontributiontosociety.

　　AsfarasIdeem,I'mmoreinfavoroftheformerviews.Successfulsportsstarssufferedalotofpainintheirpractice.Forexample,YaoMing,afamousbasketballplayerinChina,experiencedsomesugeriesbecausehewasbadlyhurtinthesportsevent.Themoreriskandsweatertheytake,themoremoneythedeserve.

　　Inconclusion,itisfairforsportsmentomakesubstantialmoney,Notallkindsofcareerdemandanexcellentperformanceoftheiremployees.

　　看了下范文感觉写的和那种形式非常不一样,这样的可以么?