【跪求批改!写了一篇雅思作文,各位大神帮忙看看能得个几分,要是能给些建议就更感激了~!这是题目：Somepeoplesaythatthegapbetweenthepoorandrichisbecomingwider.Whatcausesleadtothissituationandwhatm】

　　跪求批改!写了一篇雅思作文,各位大神帮忙看看能得个几分,要是能给些建议就更感激了~!

　　这是题目：Somepeoplesaythatthegapbetweenthepoorandrichisbecomingwider.Whatcausesleadtothissituationandwhatmeasurescanbetakentoaddresstheproblem?

　　正文：

　　Thehigh-speeddevelopmentofmodernsocietybenefitscitizensinvariousways.Becomingamillionaireisnotjustadreamanymore.However,inspiteofthis,therearestillalargenumberofindividualssufferingfrompoverty.Itisnotunrealisticthatthegapbetweentherichandtheneedyisbecomingwider.Itiscrucialthatweanalyzethecauseofthisdisturbingissueandexploreaneffectivesolution.Frommyownperspective,thecausesaremultiple.

　　Ontheonehand,thestrategiesconductedbytheauthoritiesshouldbeblamedtosomeextent.TakingChinaforanexample,thegovernmentusedtoencouragesomegrouptobecomerichsothatcanpromotethepoortodevelopasaconsequence.However,asamatteroffact,therichhavegottenawayfromthepoverty,whilethepoorsufferedmorethanbefore,whichcontributetoexpandthisgapevenwider.

　　Ontheotherhand,thisphenomenoncouldbearesultfromgeographiclocation.Forinstance,peopleliveincoastalcitiesareconsideredmuchricherthanthoselivingininlandareas.Themainreasonisduetothatcitiesneartheoceanhaveabundantresourcesandconvenienttransportationwhichcanleadtothedevelopmentbetweendifferentareas.Onthecontrary,theinland,especiallytheremoteareaslackusableresourcesanditismoredifficulttocommunicatewithothercities,thatiswhymanyvillagersstillliveinanoriginalsocietywithpoorlivingstandard.

　　Thisissueshouldbewelltakenintoconsideration.Astohowtoaddressthisproblem,peopleputforwardvarioussuggestions.Themostimportantapproachisthatgovernmentshouldtakeactiontoimprovethissituationinsteadofjustpayinglipservicestoit.Forinstance,establishacompletedtaxsystem.Secondly,localgovernmentshouldinvestmoremoneyinremoteareasratherthanbuildingmoreskyscrapers.Finally,themassmediashouldencouragetofoundsomecharitiestohelpthepoor.

　　Ibelievewiththejointeffortsfromindividualsandgovernment,thisissuecanbeeventuallyimproved.

　　小弟最近还写了一些,但苦于没人帮