高手帮我批改一下作文（六级的）alettertoalaid--查字典问答网

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　　高手帮我批改一下作文（六级的）alettertoalaid-offacquaintance正文如下：DearWing,Firstandforemost,ImustsaythatI'msosorrytohearthatyouhavebeenlaid-off.Ithinkyoumustbeinnomootodoanythingnow.However,asI

　　高手帮我批改一下作文（六级的）

　　alettertoalaid-offacquaintance

　　正文如下：

　　DearWing,

　　Firstandforemost,ImustsaythatI'msosorrytohearthatyouhavebeenlaid-off.Ithinkyoumustbeinnomootodoanythingnow.However,asIseeitfrommystandpoint,thesituationisnottoobadtodealwith.Youshouldrememberanoldsaying:Whereisawill,whereisaway.youundoubtedlygothroughthistoughtimeifyoukeepthisfaith.

　　NowallIcandoistogiveyoursomesuggestionsandhopethatitwillbeusefulforyou.Atthefirstplace,Ihavetosayitagainthatyoumustcheerupandbesonfident.Atthesecondplace,youhavetofindoutthereasonwhyyouhavebeenfiredandcorrectit.Forexample,ifyourbossfiredyouduetoyourlaziness,youmustworkharderanddevoteyourselftoyourjobfromnowon.Finally,youcansearchajobontheInternetwhichfitsyou.Besides,therearealsomuchimformationandadviceabouthowtosuccessedinyourcareer.

　　Sincerely,Ihopeyoucanhaveabetterjobsassoonaspossible.wheneveryouneedmyhand,I'lldoanythingIcantosupportyou.Callmeanytimeyouneed.

　　Bestwishesyourbestfriend

　　没错的不要复制粘贴,只要改有错的,免得看得眼花~.

1回答

2019-05-01 10:55

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蔡文举

　　1.作为副词引导句子,应该用firstly,而不是用first.第一句应该是firstlyandforemostly.

　　2.must用在第一句不妥.应该用haveto.

　　3.think的用法错误.要否定提前.idon'tthinkthatyouhavemoodtodoanything.

　　4.frommystandpoint有错,应该改为inmyopinion或者inmypoint即可.

　　5.whereisawill...改为wherethereisawill,thereisaway.

　　6.下一句应该改为youshouldandyoucouldgetoutfromthetough（gothrough也可以）

　　7.第二段第一句,主语从句缺少主语,应该改为whaticandonow.主句也有问题.全句应该改为：whaticandonowistogiveyousomesuggestionsandihopeitwouldhelpyou.

　　8.第二段第二句,没有atthefirstplace的说法,应该是firstly或者atfirst.

　　9.say后面为宾语从句,不能用it引导.应该用that.应该改为Ihavetosaythatagainthatyoushouldcheerupandbeconfident.其实这里显得非常累赘.直接用ithinkyoushouldcheerupandbeconfident即可.

　　10.atthesecondplace改为secondly.(与前面对应）

　　11.建议别人不能用must,应该用should.

　　13.correctthereason不搭配.直接用makesomechanges即可.

　　14.imformation是不可数名词,应该用is搭配.如果连上后面的advice应该改为：thereisalsomuchimformationandadviceson/abouthowtosucceedinyourcareer.这里应该用就近原则.be动词跟前面的information不跟后面的advices.

　　15.iwilldoanythingican不妥,应该用iwilldoeverythingican.而且wheneveryouneedmyhand太罗唆,直接用anytime在后面即可.即为：iwilldoeverythingicantosupportyou,anytime.

　　16.最后一句,bestwishestoyou,fromyourbestfriend.再加姓名.

　　总的来说,这篇文章完全是中文思维写好后翻译过去的,不是从英文的角度去思考的.所以,很多中式英语.语句不通顺.希望能改进.

2019-05-01 10:57:57

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