请问您可以帮我改下我的托福作文么?我的英语基础很差,..T.-查字典问答网
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  请问您可以帮我改下我的托福作文么?我的英语基础很差,..T...看到了您的其他回答觉得您是很很厉害又很善良很热心的人!..如果您有时间的话请您帮帮我吧!我会很感激很感激您的~Nowadays,mosto

  请问您可以帮我改下我的托福作文么?

  我的英语基础很差,..T...看到了您的其他回答觉得您是很很厉害又很善良很热心的人!..如果您有时间的话请您帮帮我吧!我会很感激很感激您的~

  Nowadays,mostofusattendcollegeoruniversityforcareerpreparation.However,theacquisitionsyoumightobtainduringyourcollegeyearswillnotonlyhelpyoutogetanidealjobwhenyougraduate,butalsoallowyoutomeetwithsuccessinthelongrun.Suchasaneffectivediploma,companionshipwithyourclassmatesandprofessinalknowledge.Allofthesewillkeepyoubeingsureofyourself.

  Firstofall,gettinganeffectivediplomacanalwaysbringyouawellbeginning.Becauseacollegediplomaisalwaysacceptedbyemployersasproofofcompetenceinagivenfield.Forexample,ifyouheldadiplomaofasuperexcellentcollegeafterhavinglearningeconomicforyears,youmighteasilygetemployedbyalargecompanyintheWallStreetwhichcanprovideyoumuchmoreopportunitiestosucceed.Soyoucanevensimplysaythatitisadiplomathatleadaseriesofgoodluck.

  Secondly,buildingsteadfastcompanionshipwithyoucollegeclassmateswillkeepyoubesittingprettyinyourwork.Foryourclassmates,whoselectthesamecoureasyou,areverylikelytobeyourprofessionaftergraduating.Forinstance,ifyoubecameabesinessman,itwouldbemuchmoreeasilyforyoutogetinvestmentfromoneofyourclassmateswhohadbecameaninvestorofalargecompany;orifyoufoundajobasapolitician,youmightbeabletopersuadeanotherimportantpolitician,asyourcollegeclassmate,tobeyourpoliticalwithease.Ontheotherhand,theycanalsohelpyouduringyourhardtime.

  Finally,learningprofessionalknowledgealwaysmakeyoubecompetentforyourcareer.wheneveryoufacetroubleinyourwork,professionalknowledgecancalmyoudownandhelpyoutosolveproblemsensiblyandeffectively.Asaprofessinaltechnician,forinstance,youwillbequiteequaltothesuddenoccasionwithconfidenceasyouwerefullyacquaintedwiththetechniqueneededtoovercomethedifficulties.Thiswilleventuallymakeyousucceedinyourcareer.

  Whydoyouthinkpeopleattendcollegeoruniversity?

  《高分速成》我去的那个书店缺货了..T.T..所以我买了一本《高分作文》,也是新东方的,发现上面全是范文...

  关于思路请问可以说得具体一点么?..貌似有点找不到方向..

1回答
2020-09-10 02:03
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刘学亮

  第一最好能给个题目,因为托福作文即使范文都会有拼写或者语法错误,所以扣题和逻辑是最重要的.

  第二,你犯了大部分人都有的错误,就是“you,your”等词,(个人认为这个是大忌)这个是不能用的.考官看了会很迷茫,你整篇都在说“你的”,还有“你”怎么怎么样”.

  第三,缺少一个结尾,这个其实如果考试时时间不够都可以不写,但是最好写一下来加强观点等.

  theacquisitionsyoumightobtain、Suchasaneffectivediploma,companionshipwithyourclassmatesandprofessinalknowledge.Allofthesewillkeepyoubeingsureofyourself这些表达都很奇怪.

  推荐你看下新东方的写作速成.那本书精看一下写作挺容易提高的.

  写作主要是:1.最重要的逻辑,你用题库来锻炼思路就好了.

  2.词汇这个光背单词绝对没用,就好比你有很多珍珠,但是要用绳子才能穿起来做成项链.所以最好看一下写作词汇,那些都是词组.

  3.brainstorm.能很快找到支持自己观点的有力证据.

  这个.每句的修改什么的就不说了吧.

  你这个题目是题库中的第一道题~

  建议你改一下内容.usestrongerpointtosupportyouressay.

  这个问题的写作思路在新东方写作高分速成上也有,建议再练一下思路.

2020-09-10 02:05:02

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