Manyofusmistakenlybelievethatit'swrongtothinkwehaveanygoodqualities．Wemayspendalotoftimeblamingourselvesforournegativequalities，thinkingthatselfcriticismisthekeytoimprovingourperformance．However，aconstant
Many of us mistakenly believe that it's wrong to think we have any good qualities．We may spend a lot of time blaming ourselves for our negative qualities，thinking that self criticism is the key to improving our performance．However，a constant focus on our supposed shortcomings can stop our efforts to make friends with other people．How can we believe that others could like us if we believe our inner being is flawed（有缺陷）？
If someone seems to dislike you，the reason for that dislike might have little or nothing to do with you．The person who doesn't like you might be fearful，or shallow，or busy or shy．Perhaps you and that person are simply a mismatch for each other at this particular time．
Don't take yourself out of the game by deciding that your flaws are bigger than your good qualities．In fact，some of the very qualities you consider to be flaws may be irresistible to someone else．For all the factors that might cause one person to reject you，there are at least as many factors that will work in your favor with someone else．
You might be thirty pounds over your ideal weight，but you may have a wonderful laugh and a real enthusiasm for life．There are many people who don't mind your extra pounds．You may drive a shabby car，but you might be a great dancer and a loyal friend．There are people out there looking for loyalty，or fun，or sweetness，or wisdom，and the package it comes in is not important．If you are worried that you are not beautiful enough to attract friends，keep in mind that not everyone is looking for physical beauty in their friends．You can decide to feel inferior（自卑） because you don't have much money and you don't drive a nice car．You can believe that this is the reason that you don't have many friends in your life．On the other hand，if you are very wealthy you may be suspicious that everyone is after your money and that nobody really likes you as a person．
The point is that you can focus on just about anything and believe it's t