80分跪求雅思作文批改请大家帮我看下Somepeopleth-查字典问答网
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  80分跪求雅思作文批改请大家帮我看下Somepeoplethinkraisingthepriceoffuelisthebestwaytosolveenvironmentalproblems.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?请大家帮我看看这篇文章怎么样,有什么能改进的地

  80分跪求雅思作文批改请大家帮我看下

  Somepeoplethinkraisingthepriceoffuelisthebestwaytosolveenvironmentalproblems.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?

  请大家帮我看看这篇文章怎么样,有什么能改进的地方.

  Inourquestforconvenience,wegivenothoughtstoenvironmentalfriendliness,which,asBertrandRussellsaid:therearetwokindsoftragedy,onecausedbynatureandtheotherbyourselves.Therefore,itishumankindthatshouldbeblameforthedireconsequencecausedbysevereenvironmentalproblem.Manypeopleassertthatthebestwaytosolveenvironmentalproblemistoraisingthepriceoffuel.Personally,Ithinktheirviewissomewhatoverlysimplistic.

  Admittedly,vehiclesshouldbeblamefortheglobalwarming.Notonlytherivers,forestsandairarebeingpollutedbythefuel-burningmachinesonroads,butalsotheun-renewableenergysourcesarebeingdepletedintermsofgasolineanddiesel.Andraisingthepriceoffuelcouldpossiblyreducepeople’senthusiasmtopossessprivatecars,whichcangeneratelesspoisonousgas.

  However,therearemanyothercausesthatshouldbeblamefortheenvironmentalproblem.Forinstance,regardlessofthedisposableneedlesandsyringesusedinhospitalstopreventcontagionamongpatients,disposableitemssuchasplasticbagsandfoodboxesaccountsforfiftypercentoftheman-madegarbage,whichgreatlydamagethesoilqualitysincetheyarebiodegradable.Besides,luredbytheprospectofemploymentandabetterlifeinmetropolises,influxofimmigrantworkersfrompoorerregionscomeinmillions,whichresultsinthesacrificeoftrees,fieldsbecauseoftheurbansprawlforaccommodatinganincreasingnumberofpeople.

  Therefore,environmentalproblemcannotbesolvedbymerelyraisingthefuelprice.Incentivesshouldbegivenbythegovernment,whichmayworkcollectivelyacrossdepartmentsandwithothershareholdersonlegislation,regulationandtaxationlevers,toincreaseindividuals’environmentalawarenessaswellastoencouragecitizenstodomoretoprotecttheenvironment.

1回答
2020-09-12 01:00
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史晓晨

  7.5分挺好

  notonly后面怎么没用倒装呢,notonlyaretherivers.beingpolluted,but.其实语法不太重要因为没人会专心揪你的语法错误,但句子必须看起来舒服.

  太多高级单词,人家可不喜欢你用太多的高级单词,因为一些单词用的不太恰当

  你这个应该是抄过来的嫌疑比较多一半是老师给你批过的,

2020-09-12 01:04:25

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