【请问一下雅思作文写跑题了吗Somepeoplethinka-查字典问答网
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  【请问一下雅思作文写跑题了吗Somepeoplethinkahighsalaryisthemostimportantfactorinchoosingajob.Others,however,believethatjobsecurityismoreimportant.Discussboththeseviewsandgiveyourownopinion.Nowadaysdifferentin】

  请问一下雅思作文写跑题了吗

  Some

  peoplethinkahighsalaryisthemostimportantfactorinchoosingajob.Others,

  however,believethatjobsecurityismoreimportant.Discussboththeseviews

  andgiveyourownopinion.

  Nowadays

  differentindividualshavedifferentopinionsforajob.Someindividuals

  thinkthatahighpayisofsignificantinchoosingawork,whileothersthink

  thatjobsecurityisofsignificant.Asforme,Iaminthefavourofthepoint

  thatjobsecurityisthemostimportant.

  In

  modernsociety,somepeoplethinktheirsafetyisofmostsignificantsothey

  alwaysfindaworkinacompanywhichcangivethemaninsuranceordon’tneed

  todoanydangerouswork.Forinstance,someworkersworkasbuildingablock.

  Theyarealwaysindangerbecausetheyneedtoclimbtoohightofinishtheir

  workanditthreatenstheirlives.Thus,littleandlittlepeoplechoosethiskind

  ofjobnow.Theyalwayschoosesomejobswhichcansitintheoffice.Itisthe

  mostsafetywayforthemtoprotectthemselvesfromdanger.Individualswho

  choosesafeworkarerepresentedtheyareresponsiblepersonsbecausethey

  thinkabouttheirfamilymembersfell.

  However,

  otherpeoplebelievethatahighpayisofmostsignificant.Afterachievinga

  highsalarytheycangivetheirfamilyabetterhome.Andthosewhohave

  childrencangivetheirchildrenabetterschoolingandlettheirchildren

  becomeaperfectperson.

  Choosing

  ahighpaymeanstheyareseekingabetterlife.Theyclearlyknowwhatthey

  wantandhowtogetthat.Andpeoplecangethighsalaryarealwaysanable

  person.

  To

  conclude,fromwhathasbeendiscussedabove,Itendtobelievethatjob

  securityisofmostsignificantbecausethelifeisthemostvaluablefor

  peoplewewouldbewell-advisedtoberesponsibleforourselvesinabestway.

1回答
2020-09-11 10:11
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陈金霞

  跑题是没跑题但是论据论证部分根本没提到你的立场比如第二段你写的都是somepeople怎么怎么样连论据都没有为什么人们越来越喜欢选择安全的工作?一个好的论文应该有中心论据,然后拿这些事实来论证。但是你没给出论据,只给出论证读者一眼看上去云里雾里,不知道你要说什么记住以后写这种辩证论文,在文中先给出一个中心句子,再论证,再给出一个中心句子,再论证。这样读者才能一眼看上去知道你要论证什么你为什么选择这个立场

2020-09-11 10:13:03

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