Dependingonpersonalexperience,personalitytypeandemotionconcern,wefindthatsomepeopleholdtheideaofpeopleshouldnevergiveupmeanwhileothersprefertosometimepeopleshouldgive

　　1.mean应该换为means,因为主语为theidea,另外,尽量避免用we,可以选用

　　people,或者humality等,一个词最好不要出现2次以上

　　upsomethingwithconsiderate.Frommypointofview,itismore

　　2应为consideration吧,此处代表名词的意义.另：giveup这个词用了多遍,

　　可以考虑换个词

　　sensibletogiveupsometimeswithconsiderate.

　　Ihavefollowingargumentstosupportmyopinion.Firstofall,

　　3.开头这句若换成Followingargumentssupportmyopinions会更好一些,高

　　级句型就是要多用被动语态,尽量少用第一人称.

　　people’sabilityhavelimit.Whenwefaceadifficulty,sightlessto

　　4.face换成encounter,meet或其他的词,用不同的词感觉更高级一点.

　　challengeitisnotaveryclevermovement.Sowhenpeoplefacehisowns’abilitylimit,Ithinkit’stimetogiveup.Tochallengedifficultiesbeyondyourabilityisaverydangerousthing,butgiveupwillbringyousafety.Perhapssomeonewillsaychallengewillexcavationpeople’spotential,butifthesituationisoutofyourcontrol,youmayhavegreattroubleevenlostyourlife.Potentialis

　　notasteadyhelpandmaynothelpyou.Secondly,giveupandabandonmaybewillbringyoumorechances.Fromoneside,wecansaygiveupisatimidrepresentation,buttotheotherside,giveupisonewaytokeepyourstrength.Foranexample,intheOlympicgame.Maybesomeothercompetitorsarestrongerthanyou,atthistime,ifyoutrytochallengethemsightless,youmaygethurtevendestroyyoursportslife.Butsanegaveupthismatch,youwillhave4more

　　yearstopracticeandimproveyourselftotakepartinnextyear’sOlympic.Chineseoldsayinggoesto:givebackonestep,theskyandseawillbelongtoyou.Moreover,giveupsometimeisalsoarepresentationofcontentment.Sanetogiveupsomethinginordertokeepothersisabsolutelybetterthangreedypursueeverythingandachievenothingatlast.

　　FortheaboveyoumightgottheideathatIagreepeoplesometimeshouldsensiblegiveup.Mainlybecausepeople’sabilityhavelimitandgiveupsometimewillbringyoumorechances.SoIthinkit’smoresanelytogiveupsometime.

　　基本就是这样了,1）多用被动语态,

　　2）多记一些高级词汇,

　　3）保证每天的作文写作量,最好有一个长期的改作文伙伴,

　　4）多用不同词汇表达同一个意思

　　就这些吧,

　　这个分数不太好断,我当时得了24分