雅思作文,求修改建议并评分~Subject：Astechnologydevelops,moreshoppingandbusinessisdonethroughtheinternetwhilecommunicationfacetofacebecomeslessfrequent.Isthisapositiveoranegativedevelopment?Today,humancivilisati

　　雅思作文,求修改建议并评分~

　　Subject：Astechnologydevelops,moreshoppingandbusinessisdonethroughtheinternetwhilecommunicationfacetofacebecomeslessfrequent.Isthisapositiveoranegativedevelopment?

　　Today,humancivilisationhasleaptintoahi-techage,whichmeansincreasingindividualsgraduallytendtointerestinonlineshopping,aswellasonlinebusiness.Asaconsequence,therearelessopportunitiesfor“facetoface”communicationamongtheindividuals.

　　Thereisnodoultthatanewbusinessmodel,thee-business,haspenetratedintothevariousaspectsofpeople’slife,whichbenefitsusalot,notonlyintermsofbusinessbutalsointermsofcustomers.Moreprecisely,doingbusinessonlinedefinitelycouldaffordatremendousmarket,whichwouldstimulatethesalesofproductstoalargeextent.Also,withthepowerfulInternet,thetimeisshrunkandtheefficiencyisboosted,offeringaprominentadvantagetothebusinessatthemoment,whenthetimeandtheefficiencyisconsideredasfundsinthekeenbattlefieldofcommerce.Ontheotherhand,onlineshoppingsurelyhasbecomeasweepingtrendwhichswaysnumourousbuyers’consumingnotion,aswellasshapedarapidbrand-newapproachforconsuming.Asisknowntous,theproductsonlinearealwayscheaper,anditismoreconvenientforustofindthethingsinneed,regardlessoftimeandplaces.

　　However,theboostingofe-businesshasgivenrisetothedeclineof“facetoface”contactsinreallife.Thus,somepeoplefearthatthisfactprobablywouldalienatepeoplefromeachother,forthatthevirtualInternetcouldnotsupporttherelations.Butoverall,tokeeprelations,whethercouldmeetfrequentlyornotdoesnotmatter,whatmattersisoursincereness.

　　Myviewisthatitissuchanexcellentapproachtradingonline,whichseemstobemoreeconomicalandpractical,anditwouldbebetterifpepolecouldperfectitandpromoteit.

　　Anyadviceisappreciated!thanks~