KindnessCounts

　　Lovingwaystoraiseacompassionatechildiname-firstworld

　　ByMimiDoe

　　Oneofthemostcommonquestionsparentsaskmeis,"How,inthismaterialistic,competitiveworldcanIraisekindchildren?"Myansweristobeginbybeingakindadult.Whenyourchildseesyougoingtheextramiletohelpafriend,carryingsomeone'sgroceries,makingamealforanewfamilythatjustmovedin,orinvitingpeopleintoyourlifewhoaren'texactlylikeyou,hewillnaturallyseethisastherightwaytolive.

　　Wearemirrorsforourkids:Whenchildrenobserveyourexamplesofkindness,they'llknowwheretobegin.Oneday,ImentionedthatIhadatummyache,andmy8-year-olddashedupthestairstorunabath,turndownmybed,andlayoutmyfavoritenightie.Youknowwhohadtreatedhertummyachesinjustsuchaway.

　　Kindnessisaqualitythatisn'toftenrewardedinourschools,sowemustmakeastrongefforttoacknowledgeitathome.Kidsarenaturallyempatheticfromanearlyage:Asnewborns,theycrywhentheyhearanotherbabycrying;theyoffertheirfavoritedolltothefriendwhohasscrapedhisknee.Wetendtoexpectouryoungchildrentogrowoutofthiscompassionandbecomeself-absorbed."Ohit'stheterribletwos,"wesay."Kidsjustcan'tshareatthisage."Whatifweshiftedourexpectationsandsawourkidsastrulycaringbeings?Boysinparticularareoftenrewardedforbeingcleverorassertive,butnotoftenforshowingcompassion.

　　AbusymotherIknowismakinganefforttoacknowledgeheryoungson'skindness.Sherecalls,"Iwentwiththesecondgradeonthebustothezoolastfall,andMichaelsatnexttoaclassmatewhousesawheelchairandismentallyimpaired.Iwasamazedathowhelpfulandconsideratehewas,andIwasquicktocomplimenthimwhenwegothome."

　　Kindness,empathy,compassion,andlovegrowfromappreciationandrespect,andinturncreatemoreofboth.Insteadofcomparingkidsandfosteringcompetition--"Youhavethebestvoiceinthechoir"--itwouldhelptoapplaudtheirthoughtfulness.Forexample,youcouldsay,"IlikedthewayyoucomplimentedAmy'spainting."

　　Inanachievement-orientedculture,wemayfocusmoreongradesandsportsvictoriesthanonvaluesoftheheart.Takethetimetoacknowledgekindactionsashavingtrueworth.

　　Wecanweavekindnessintooureverydaylives,forexample,bycreatinga"kindnessboard"andpostingitonthefridge.Eachtimeafamilymemberdoessomethingkind,heorshecanwriteitontheboardwhenit'sacknowledged.

　　TryTheseRandomActsofKindness

　　Askyourkidstocomeupwiththeirownlistofeverydayopportunitiestoshowkindness.Someideastogetthemstarted:

　　-Smileatthebusdriver.

　　-Complimentatleastonepersonaday.

　　-Holdthedoorforthepersonbehindyouwhenyoucomeinfromrecess.

　　-Passontosomeoneelseabookyouloved.

　　-Offertowalkaneighbor'sdog.

　　-Helpsomeonefindsomethingheorshehaslost.

　　-Recyclemagazinestothelocallibrary.

　　-Helpayoungersiblingwithhomework.

　　-Sitwiththekidwhousuallysitsaloneonthebus.

　　-Ifkidsarespeakingunkindlyaboutsomeone,takeastandagainstit.

　　-Bakeanextrabatchofcookiesandleavethemonaneighbor'sdoorstep.

　　-Hugsomebodywhoneedsit.

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