Tobegin,thisisathrowaway,sinceIbelievemyex-wife(orhernewhusband)maybearedditor.

　　I'm28,wasmarriedfor5yearspriortomydivorce2yearsago.IamCanadian,andI'mex-military.

　　ImetmywifewhenIwas19,justreturningfromAfghanistanforthefirsttime.ShewaseverythingIeverwantedinawoman:shewaskind,intelligent,witty,funny,caringandfaithful(orsoIthought).Wemetthroughamutualfriend,andquicklyhititoff.

　　Ileftsoonaftermeetingher,oncemoreonrotationinAfghanistan.Wekepttouchthroughemailwheneverpossible.WhenIreturnedsixmonthslater,oneagain,wehititoff.Iwasmadlyinlovewithher.

　　At21,shedroppedthebomb:shewaspregnant.ComingfromaratherCatholicfamily,Ifeltitwasmydutytopropose.Iwasplanningtoanyway,justnotsoearly.Sheaccepted.Weweremarried3monthslater,andoursonwasborn4monthsafterthat.Holdinghimforthefirsttime,IfeltthatitwasthefirsttimeinmylifethatIwasaman,andnotaboy.Lookingatthoseblueeyes,Iknewthatfromthatpointforth,itwouldbemysoledutyinlifetoprovideforhimandhismother,toteachhimtobeallthethingsIbelievedweregoodinlife:honorable,respectful,disciplinedandthoughtful.Idevotedeverysecondofmylifefromthatpointforthtopreparehisfuture,andIdecidedtostartacollegesavingsfundforhim.Iwasdeterminedtobeagoodfather.

　　Whenhewas1,IwasonceagainaskedtogotoAfghanistan.Iwashesitant,butthebonusforservingoverseaswasatremendousopportunityformetosetusupfinancially.Iagreed,andIleftfor7months.Mythirdmonthin,withoutgoingintotoomuchdetail,thingsturnedugly.Myselfandmanyofmycomradeswerewounded(somekilled)byanIED.Inearlylostmylife,andtothisday,Icarrysomefairlyseverescarsandburnsonagoodportionofmybody.

　　WheninGermany(whereNATOtroopsgettreatedforseriousinjuries),Iattemptedfranticallytocontactmywife.Shehadnotrespondedtoemailsforweeks,andthefewshehadansweredwereratherbriefandcold.Ifeltterribleforleavingherbehind,andIfiguredthat'swhyshewasbeingdistant.

　　Aboutamonthlater,IwasbackinKandahar.Althoughnotworkinginmynormalcombatarmstrade,IfeltIstillneededtostayforfinancialreasons.Mysonwastheonlythingkeepingmethere.ThebonuswasthatIhadaccesstophonesandcomputers,soIalsohopedtopatchthingsupwithmywife(whateveritmayhavebeen...)

　　(I'llfastforwardabit...sinceI'mdigressingtoomuch.)

　　Aboutthe2ndmonthbackinKandahar,Ireceivedanemailfrommyneighbor,whohappenedtobeaMasterWarrantOfficer.Ifigureditwassomethingimportantinregardstomywork.HeaskedthatIcallhim,soIdid.Unknowingly,Iwokehimupat1AM,buthewasnonthelesspressedtospeaktome.WhathesaidIwillneverevereverforget.TherewasanothermanlivinginmyPMQhesaid.Ayoungofficer.Myheartsank,andIhadnoideawhattodo.Ihadanothercoupleofmonthstogo,andIwasheartbroken.IquicklysoughtcouncilfromanAJAGandmycommandingofficers.Eventually,throughsomesidedealings,theywereabletosendmehomeformedicalreasons(IlegitimatelyhavePTSD).

　　WhenIarrivedbackinthecountry,Iwentstraighthome.WhenIarrived,myhousewasempty.Sheleft.Allthatwasleft,onthefloor(shetookEVERYTHING),weredivorcepapers,andtheyweredatedfrom8monthsback.Thiswasalongtimecoming.

　　Aftercontact