《2012》

　　It'stheendoftheworldaccordingtoRolandEmmerich,whichatleastguaranteesthatwegooutwithabangandnotawhimper.2012standsasthedirector'sgrandend-of-daysparty;hiscrowningactofglobalvandalism:hereisafilmthatthinksnothingofpushingCaliforniaintotheocean,orknockingChristtheRedeemeroffhisperchaboveRio,orflatteningtheWhiteHousebeneathanaircraftcarrierwashedinbyatsunami.AtonestageWoodyHarrelson'swild-eyedradiopreacherrollsuptoexplainthat"somethinglikethiscouldonlyoriginateinHollywood".Andinthis,asinallthings,hepreachesthetruth.

　　EmmerichhasalreadyearnedareputationastheexcitableCassandraoftheblockbustercircuit.Hisspecialityisthecacophonoustaleofdoom;beefed-upB-movieswhichcomeaugmentedwithWagnerianspecialeffectsthatall-butdwarfthehumaninhabitants.InthepasthehashadtheplanetthreatenedbyaliensinIndependenceDay,munchedbyamonsterinGodzillaandblanketedbyiceinTheDayAfterTomorrow.Forthenearly$200mspenton2012,hehasusedanage-old(andinevitablydisputed)Mayanprophecyasanexcusetomounthisbiggest,loudestdemolitionjobtodate.

　　Theearth'scrustiscrumblingandthecoreisheatinguplikeamicrowave,andthefinalcurtainisdueon21December2012.Theworld'selitearehasteningtoanescaperouteinasecretHimalayanmountainbase.Emmerichdulygivesusthecollapse,thepanicandtherushtopossiblesafety,inaseriesofparallelplot-linesandthenchasingthemthroughtofinish.

　　ThemostnotableofthesefeaturesJohnCusackasJacksonCurtis,afailedwriterandweekendfather,whoracestospirithisfamilyoutofdanger.Elsewhere,ChiwetelEjioforplaysagovernmentscientistwhofindshimselfshuttlingbetweenanobleUSpresident(DannyGlover)andhiscold-bloodedchiefofstaff(OliverPlatt).ThisbeingaRolandEmmerichmovie,thenoblepresidentfinallyoptstoremaininWashingtonandgodownwithhispeople.Foronebrief,terrifyingmomentonewondersjustwhatwillfinishhimoff:theaircraftcarrierorthetideofschmaltz.

　　ButthennobodyeverlookedtoEmmerichfornuanceorsubtlety.2012,likeallgooddisastermovies,isbigandbrashandgloriouslyover-the-top.Onewatchesthisknowingfullwellhowdumbandunbelievableitallis,onlytofindyourfistsclenchedandyourbrowsweatingasonegut-wrenchingactionset-piecefollowsanother.This,presumably,meansthatwebelieveitinthemomentandthat,with2012,Emmerichhasyetanotherhitonhishands.Ifthepropheciesaretobebelieved,however,hehasjustthreeyearstospendthemoneyitearns.