In1974,afterfillingoutfiftyapplications,goingthroughfourinterviews,andwinningoneoffer,ItookwhatIcouldget-----ateachingjobatwhatIconsideredadistantwildarea:westernNewJersey.Mycharacteristicoptimismwasalive

　　In1974,afterfillingoutfiftyapplications,goingthroughfourinterviews,andwinningoneoffer,ItookwhatIcouldget-----ateachingjobatwhatIconsideredadistantwildarea:westernNewJersey.MycharacteristicoptimismwasaliveonlywhenIremindedmyselfthatIwouldbedoingwhatIhadwantedtodosinceIwasfourteen-------teachingEnglish.

　　Schoolstarted,butIfeltmoreandmoreasifIwereinaforeigncountry.WasthisruralareareallyNewJersey?Mystudentstookaweekoffwhenhuntingseasonbegan.IwastoldtheywerealsofrequentlyabsentinlateOctobertohelptheirfathersmakehayonthefarms.IwasayoungwomanfromNewYorkCity,whothoughtthat“Makehaywhilethesunshines”justmeanttohaveagoodtime.

　　But,still,IwasteachingEnglish.Iworkedhard,takingtimeoffonlytoeatandsleep.Andthentherewasmysixth-gradeclass----seventeenboysandfivegirlswhowereonlysixyearsyoungerthanme.IhadaproblemlongbeforeIknewit.Iwasstrugglinginmyworkasayoungidealisticteacher.Iwantedtomakeliteraturecomealiveandtopromotealoveofthewrittenword.Thestudentswantedtothrowspitballsandwhisperdirtywordsinthebackoftheroom.

　　IncollegeIhadbeentaughtthatasuccessfuleducatorshouldignorebadbehavior.SoIdid,confidentthat,asthetextbookhadsaid,thebadbehaviorwoulddisappearasIgavemystudentspositiveattention.Itsoundsreasonable,butthetextevidentlyignoredthefactthathumans,particularlyteenagers,rarelyseemsreasonable.Bythetimemyboss,whowasalsomytaskmaster,knowntobethestrictest,mostdemanding,mostquicktofireinexperiencedteachers,cameintotheclassroomtoobserveme,thestudentsexhibitedverylittlegoodbehaviortopraise.

　　Mybosssatinthebackoftheroom.Theboysintheclassweremakinganimalnoises,hittingeachotherwhilethegirlsfiledtheirnailsorreadmagazines.Ijustpretendeditallwasn’thappening,andwentonlecturingandtriedtoasksomeinspiringquestions.Myboss,sittinginthebackoftheclassroom,seemedtobegrowingbiggerandbigger.Aftertwentyminutesheleft,silently.Visionsofunemploymentmarchedbeforemyeyes.

　　IfeltmildlyvictoriousthatIgotthroughtherestofclasswithoutcrying,butatmynextfreeperiodIhadtofacehim.Iwonder