第一篇.

　　LearningtosayNO

　　SayingNOcanbeverydifficult.Peoplewithlowself-esteemveryoftenhavealackofassertivenessandthinktheyhavetomeettheexpectationsofeveryone.Itisveryhardforthemtosetlimitswithothers.TheysometimesfeelashamedorguiltyiftheywouldsayNO.Buttodothingsagainstyourwillandpossibilitieswillendupinfeelingusedandresentful.

　　Asimpleanddirect"NO,Iamnotabletohelpyouwiththat"isthebestsolution.Ifyouwantto(haveto)giveanexplanationyoushouldkeepitsimple:"NO,Ihavealreadymadeananotherappointmentforthistime"or"NO,sorry.IamafraidIhavetodeclinebecauseIhavenosparetime."

　　OtherwaysofsayingNO:

　　Ican´tdothisrightnow.

　　NO,thanks.Notthistime.Thankyouforasking.

　　Sorry,butNO.

　　PleaseacceptthatIcannotcome.

　　I´drathernot.

　　TosayanassertiveNOyoushould:

　　StartthesentencewiththewordNO

　　ShakeyourheadandusenonverbalassertivenesstounderlineyourNO.Yourvoiceshouldbeclearanddirect.Keepeyecontact.

　　Ifsomeonemakesarequestitisfairtoaskfortimetothinkitover.Thedecisionshouldbeuptoyou,butsometimesitisdifficulttosayNOrightnow.YoucantrytouseanempathicNO,ifyouwouldhavehelpedunderdifferentcircumstances:

　　"Sorry,no.Iwouldhavekeptyourcatnextweekend.ButmyhusbandandIwillbeoffforvisit.Iknowitwillbehardtofindsomeonetotakecareoffthecat.Iwilltrytohelpyounexttime."Remember:SayingNOisaveryhonourableresponse.Youhavetherighttosay"No"!

　　第二篇

　　7SimpleWaysToSay“No”

　　Editor’snote:ThisisaguestpostfromCelestineChuaofThePersonalExcellenceBlog.

　　Doyouhavedifficultysaying“no”?Areyoualwaystryingtobenicetoothersattheexpenseofyourself?

　　Well,you’renotalone.Inthepast,Iwasnotgoodatsaying“no”,becauseIdidn’twanttohurttheotherperson’sfeelings.

　　Forexample,wheneverIgetrequestsforhelp,IwouldattendtothemeventhoughIhadimportantworktodo.Sometimestherequestswoulddragto2-3hoursorevenbeyond.Attheendoftheday,Iwouldforgosleeptocatchuponmywork.Thisproblemofnotknowinghowtosay“no”alsoextendedtomyclients,businessassociatesandevensalespeople.

　　Afterawhile,Irealizedallthesetimesofnotsaying“no”(whenIshould)werenothelpingmeatall.Iwasspendingalotoftimeandenergyforotherpeopleandnotspendingnearlyasmuchtimeformyself.ItwasfrustratingespeciallysinceIbroughtituponmyself.IslowlyrealizedifIwantedpersonaltime,Ineededtolearntosay“no”.

　　WhyWeFindItHardToSay“No”

　　Tolearntosay“No”,wehavetofirstunderstandwhat’sresistingusaboutit.Belowarecommonreasonswhypeoplefindithardtosayno:

　　1.Youwanttohelp.Youareakindsoulatheart.Youdon’twanttoturnthepersonawayandyouwanttohelpwherepossible,evenifitmayeatintoyourtime.

　　2.Afraidofbeingrude.Iwasbroughtupunderthenotionthatsaying“No”,especiallytopeoplewhoaremoresenior,isrude.ThisthinkingiscommoninAsiaculture,whereface-savingisimportant.Face-savingmeansnotmakingotherslookbad(a.k.alosingface).

　　3.Wantingtobeagreeable.Youdon’twanttoalienateyourselffromthegroupbecauseyou’renotinagreement.Soyouconfirmtoo