1.Firstletmeintroducemyself,mynameisZhangYuanbo,23yearsold.

　　应加上主语I'm23yearsold.

　　2.IstudiedinjiangnanUniversity.Itoffersmeachancetodevelopmyabilities.Duringmycollegeyears,Ilearnedalot.

　　IstudiedinjiangnanUniversity.Itprovidedmewithopportunitiestogainabilities.I'velearnedalotduringthecollegetime.

　　3,Iamnoonespecial,justacommonmanwithcommonthoughts.

　　I'mnotaspecialmanandjusthavecommonthoughts.

　　4.Twothingsfillthemindwithever-increasingwonderandawe,themoreoftenandthemoreintenselythemindofthoughtisdrawntothem:thestarryheavensabovemeandthemorallawwithinme.

　　fill改成filling

　　drawnto改成drawingto

　　5.thinkaboutlife.Ithinkabouthuman.Ithinkeverythingarroundme.

　　最后一个也该是与前部分一致thinkabout

　　6.Philosophyisinteresting.Iloveit.

　　句子结构太简单对于面试我个人认为没有突出特长

　　IlovePhilosophy,thoughmanypeoplethinkit'stoodifficult,Ifinditinteresting.That'swhatidifferfromothers.

　　7.建议最后加上一句.Thanksforyourlistening.