ThereisanoldChineseproverbthatstates"OneGenerationplantsthetrees；anothergetstheshade，"andthisishowitshouldbewithmothersanddaughters．Therelationshipbetweenamotheranddaughterissometimesconfusing．Ifcl

　　There is an old Chinese proverb that states"One Generation plants the trees； another gets the shade，"and this is how it should be with mothers and daughters．The relationship between a mother and daughter is sometimes confusing．If close，the relationship can be similar to friendship．However，the mother and daughter relationship has unique characteristics that distinguish it from a friendship．These characteristics include a hierarchy （等级） of responsibility and unconditional love，which preclude mothers and daughters from being best friends．

　　Marina，27years old，says，"I love spending time with my mom，but I wouldn't consider her my best friend．Best friends don't pay for your wedding．Best friends don't remind you how they carried you in their body and gave you life!Best friends don't tell you how wise they are because they have been alive at least 20years longer than you．"This doesn't mean that the mother and daughter relationship can't be very close and satisfying．

　　While some adult relationships are still troubled，many find them to be extremely rewarding．This generation of mothers and adult daughters has a lot in common which increases the likelihood of shared companionship．Mothers and daughters have always shared the common experience of being homemakers，responsible for maintaining and passing on family values and traditions．Today contemporary mothers and daughters also share the experience of the workforce and technology，which may bring them even closer together．

　　Best friends may or may not continue to be best friends，but for better or worse，the mother and daughter relationship is permanent，even if for some unfortunate reason they aren't speaking．The mother and child relationship is closer than any other．There is not an equal relationship．Daughters should not feel responsible for their mother's emotional well-being．It isn't that they don't care deeply about their mothers．It's just that they shouldn't be burdened with thei