初中你这个水平就不错了,但是hobby这个词不要滥用,我给你来个大学水平的.

　　Asastaunchadvocateofhealthierliving,IfindmanystudentsinmyclassdevelopedbadeatinghabitswhichI'dliketoaddressbyprovidingsomeusefuladvices.

　　Manystudentsoftenskiptheirbreakfastandbelieveitisfinetocompensatebyhavingmorelunchwhichisactuallynotthecase.Eatingthreemealwithappropriateamountandontimeiscrucialforhealthyliving.Alsoalotofmypeerslikeeatingsnacksandfastfoodowingtotheirgoodtastewhich,asmostadultsareawareof,iscompletewrong.AccordingtoWorldHealthOrganization,abalanceddietshouldincludeatleastmoderateservesoffruitandvegetables.

　　Lastbutnotleast,manystudentsrarelyparticipateanysportsorphysicalactivitiesbasedontheexcusethattheycanconcentrateontheirstudy.Butthetruthisexerciseregularly,whichmeansatleastthreeorfourtimesaweek,canimproveone'sefficiencyoflearningenormously.Justliketheoldergenerationbelieved"Ahealthybodyisthefoundationforeverything!"

　　其实我希望宁能从拼写错误、知识点、词语及语法等方面评改做详细的点评，因为我还处于英语初学基础阶段，您写的有些东西我实在看不懂，对我目前学习没有太大帮助，如果您愿意接受我的建议继续评改的话，真是太感谢了。麻烦您了！

　　Ifindthatsomestudentsinourclassdon’t

　　havehealthyeatinghobby.Now,letmetellyousomeadviceabouthowtokeep

　　healthyeatinghobby.

　　大问题没有,这里要用habit不能用hobby建议你看看字典里这两个词的解释

　　Somestudentsdon’tlikeeating

　　breakfast,theythinkit’snotimportant.Butmanyscientistssaythat,”eating

　　breakfastisthemostimportant.”Andagoodbreakfastcanhelpushaveagood

　　begininthisday.Sowemustkeeponeatingthreemealseveryday.

　　大问题还是没有,但是中式表达太多,比如Andagoodbreakfastcanhelpushaveagood

　　begininthisday.Sowemustkeeponeatingthreemealseveryday.可以改成Adecentbreakfastisgreattostartwiththeday,soweshouldkeepupthegoodhabitofeatingbreakfastontime.