《荆珂刺秦王》

　　旁白(Aside)/介绍（Introduction）：Longagotherewasacrazycountry,inthiscrazycountrythereweresomecrazypeople,tryingtoshowthecrazyhistorybycrazyways.MrJingkewasthemostfamousswordsman剑客andwassenttokillkingofQing,“Yingzheng”.Butfinallyhefailed.Doyouwanttoknowwhathappenedatthattime?Okay,nextshowwilltellyouthetruth.

　　ActionI

　　太子丹（上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状）：Mirror,mirror,tellme,whoisthemostprettymanintheworld?(画外音：It’syou,PrinceDan!太子丹高兴状)Thankumirror!（面对观众）I’mPrinceDan,themagicmirrorsaidIamthemostattractivemanintheworld.ButYingZhengisajealousguy,Ifeelhewillkillmeifmirrortoldhimthetruth.Iamsoscared.SowhatcanIdo?(向幕里大叫)Whereismyminister?

　　阿三(毕恭毕敬):Honey,Iamcoming.

　　太子丹：I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smartanddearestPrinceDan”!

　　阿三：Sure,honey!Ihaveagoodidea.WecanfindaherotokillYingZheng~~~（作杀状）

　　太子：Ohyeah~~~.Whatisthemostexpensivecommodityinthiscentury?Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状）Goodidea!Butwhoistherightcandidate?

　　阿三：AfterscreeningIhavetwopromisingpersonsonhand.OneisMissLiMoChou,theotherisMrJinKe.TomorrowtheywillPKfortheNO1killeroftheworld.

　　太子：Well,showmethewinnerassoonaspossible,OK?

　　阿三：Yes.

　　ActionII

　　（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）

　　荆轲

　　AreyouLimochou?

　　李莫愁

　　Yes.

　　荆轲

　　OK.I’mJingke,youknow,IwillletyouknowIamthekingofthekillers’world.

　　李莫愁

　　Areyouchallengingme?

　　荆轲

　　Offcourse!耸耸肩表示同意

　　李莫愁

　　Comeon!

　　音乐起

　　两人冲上前来

　　“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊.”

　　李莫愁倒地

　　荆轲大笑

　　李莫愁痛苦状：Whathappened?Whyaren’tyouhurt?

　　荆轲:Wedon'tneedanyreasontowinaperson.Don'twe?Dowe?（赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?）

　　李莫愁：Mommaalwayssaid:"Lifeislikeaboxofchocolates,Mochou.Youneverknowwhatyou'regonnaget."Igotit,Mommaisright.

　　荆轲再次大笑

　　太子丹上（抱拳）：Howareyou?

　　荆柯：Fine,thankyou,andyou?

　　太子丹：OhmyGod!Couldyougivemeaninnovativeanswerto“Howareyou”?

　　荆柯：Sure!

　　太子丹：Howareyou?

　　荆柯：Fine,thankyou,andyourwife?

　　太子丹晕倒

　　荆柯：Hey,man,I’mkidding!

　　太子丹：Oh,I’mkiddingtoo!（毕恭毕敬）MayIhaveyournamecard,please?

　　荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着：

　　Tobeornottobe,that'saquestion.

　　阿三：Hero,weneedyourhelp.

　　荆柯：Iambusynow!

　　太子丹：Youcangetalotofmoney.

　　荆柯：Iamverybusynow!

　　阿三：IC,ID,IQcard?

　　荆柯：Iamveryverybusynow!

　　阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状):Look!Sheisthemostbeautifulgirlintheworld.IfyousayO.K.,sheisyours.

　　荆柯（流口水）：Ihavetosaysheisaverysexyandbeautifulgirl,butTCMismyonlylove!

　　阿三：What?What’stheTCM?

　　荆柯;Hey,guy!Youlooksosmartbutwhyyoudidn’tknowTCM?Anyofthemcangiveyoutheanswer.

　　阿三：Excuseme?What’stheTCM?

　　观众甲：TCM-TraditionalChineseMM.

　　太子丹：Imustshowyouthetrumpcard.Ladiesandgentlemen,thisisLiptonSlimmingtea.ItisabrandnewproductofUnileverChina.

　　荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法tea!Ihav