帮忙修改雅思作文怎么样能达到6-6.5分?这篇作文能达多少分-查字典问答网
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  帮忙修改雅思作文怎么样能达到6-6.5分?这篇作文能达多少分?Thegovermentshouldcontroltheamountifviolenceinthemedia.Towhatextentdoyouagree?Thanksforthedevelopmentofmoderntechnolohy.Asakindofmoderntechno

  帮忙修改雅思作文

  怎么样能达到6-6.5分?这篇作文能达多少分?

  Thegovermentshouldcontroltheamountifviolenceinthemedia.Towhatextentdoyouagree?

  Thanksforthedevelopmentofmoderntechnolohy.Asakindofmoderntechnology,mediabringagreatdealofconvenieceandbennefittopeople'sdailylife.Itenrichesourleisuretime,andmakespeoplewell-informed.However,peoplenotonlygainpositiveinformation,butalsogetnegaiveinformationformmediaeveryday.Nowaday,increasinglynumberofscenescanbeseenfromthemedia.Ithinkitisthetimetobeinalarm,astheviolencescenesaremoreharmfulbutnobenefit.Thereasonsarepresentedbelow.

  Firstofall,violencescenesaremisleadingandharmfultopeople.Especially,itisharmfultothegrowthofchildren'smentalgreatly.Childrenmaythinkthatiscorrectandheroic,andtheymaytreadotherslikethatway.Asforadults,somepeoplwimitagethewayofcrimes,whitchthyseenfrommedia,itleadstotheincreasingofcriminalrate.Secondly,itrunscountertothehumancivilization.Fromacientagestopresentsociety,thehumanhavetakenawayfromsavagery,steppedintocivilizedsociety,keepingfarfromviolenceisaimportantmarkofthat,however,itisprettytobeseenthatincreasinglynumberofwiolencescenesareshowingonmedianowaday,wehavetosaythatitisbackwardifhumancivilization.Thirdly,italsowasttimeandmoney.Peopleshouldspendtheirtimeandmoneyonotherthingsbutnotwastmoneyonwatchingthoseviolenceraces,suchasboxing.

  Itcannotbedeniedthatsomeviolencescenesinfilmsareveryexciting,andpeopleexpecttoseetheadventuralscenes,whitchtheycannotexperienceinreallife.Butabviously,theviolenceinthemediaismoredisavantagesthanadvantages.Therefore,isupposethatthegovermentshouldtakemeasurestocontroltheamountofviolenceinthemedia.

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2020-01-24 00:10
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费立凡

  恕我直言,你如果要参加雅思考,建议再准备一下吧.你这样写字数是挺多,但是是在非考试条件下写的,如果你在考场里估计不容乐观.我考过几十次雅思,以我的经验,你这样不可能得6分,至多是5.5.我按你的思路改写了一下,仅供...

2020-01-24 00:12:32

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