【说实话本人作文很差~第一次考作文5.5只有这个是下午刚写的-查字典问答网
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  【说实话本人作文很差~第一次考作文5.5只有这个是下午刚写的.能不能麻烦考过雅思的或者雅思高手帮忙看下.大概能有多少分呢?然后错误以及意见呢?题目Improvementsinhealth,educationandtradeareess】

  说实话本人作文很差~第一次考作文5.5只有

  这个是下午刚写的.能不能麻烦考过雅思的或者雅思高手帮忙看下.大概能有多少分呢?然后错误以及意见呢?

  题目Improvementsinhealth,educationandtradeareessentialforthedevelopmentofpoornations.however,thegovernmentsofrichernationsshouldtakemoreresponsibilitiesforhelpingthepoorernationsinsucharea.

  Agreeordisagree?

  作文如下:

  Inpresentday,theproblemsofpovertybecomeanobstacletothedevelopmentofpoorcountriesintheworld.Itissignificanttoimprovethedevelopmentofhealth,educationandtradeinthenationswithpoverty.However,therehasbeenmuchdiscussionrevolvingaroundtheissueofwhetherthewealthynationsshouldtakemoreobligationstoassisttheimpoverishednationsinsuchareas.Intheseassay,Iwillcompareandcontrasttwotypicalopinionsregardingthisissue.

  Somepeopletendtothinkthatthedeprivednationsshouldeasepovertydependonthemselvesinsteadofbeggingforwell-offnations'helpsuchlikepovertyalleviationevenifthoseactionscanrelievepovertyinashortterm.Specifically,improvementsinhealth,educationandtradeplayanessentialroleindevelopmentofneedynationsasfollowingreasons.Atfirst,improvementinhealthcanbenefitcitizen'slifeandalsocontributetosocialstability.Secondly,itismeaningfulforfosteringtalentandnationalculturewithlong-termadvantagesbypayingmuchmoreattentiontotheimprovementsineducation.Lastbutnottheleast,trade,oneofthecrucialpartofeconomicgrowth,canpromotetheeconomiccooperationsintheworldthatcancontributetosolvingtheproblemsofpoverty.

  Admittedly,thegovernmentsofrichernationsshouldtaketheresponsibilitiesforhelpingthepoorernationsinsuchareas.Thereasonforthisisthatthedevelopedcountrieshavetheadvantagesofeconomicabilitytofundthepoornations.Additionally,tokeepthedutiesofhelpingthepooralsoobeythemoralstandards.Evenso,richernationscouldnotalwayshelpthepoorercountriesineveryaspect.Onlythoseneedynationscouldstandontheirownfeetcantheyhavethelong-termdevelopment.

  Overall,Iwouldconcedethatthegovernmentsofrichercountriesshouldtakemoreresponsibilitiesforassistingthepoorercountries.Despitethat,th

1回答
2020-01-26 07:43
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郭荣江

  亲爱的同学第一句就有错误是atpresentday,后面那句结构冗长杂乱.全文结构是明晰的,但是部分短语词汇的用法欠妥.有待提高啊.我给分5

2020-01-26 07:47:43

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