托福作文帮忙批改一下,主要是语法方面Itemsmadebyh-查字典问答网

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　　托福作文帮忙批改一下,主要是语法方面Itemsmadebyhandoritemsmadebymachine,whichdoyouprefer?Nowadays,asmachinesplayingamoreandmoreimportantpartinourwholesociety,andthequalityofmachine-madeproductsareaccepted

　　托福作文帮忙批改一下,主要是语法方面

　　Itemsmadebyhandoritemsmadebymachine,whichdoyouprefer?

　　Nowadays,asmachinesplayingamoreandmoreimportantpartinourwholesociety,andthequalityofmachine-madeproductsareacceptedbymostofus,itemsmadebyhandseemedhavereplacedbythesemadebymachine;Howevertherearestillmanypeoplewhoholdahighvalueonhandcraftedproducts.Todecidewhichisbest,oneshouldcomparetheadvantagesofeachmethod.

　　Firstofall,theadvantagesofmakingproductswiththeaidofmachinesareobvious.Forinstance,factoriesthatpossessmachinescanimprovetheirefficiencyofworkwhichcannotbesurpassedbyhumanmade.Anotherpartworthmentioningisthatweusuallyneedsomeaccurateoperationespeciallyforelectricalequipment,formachinesareverysteadyanddotheexactsamethingeverytimetheyrecreateaproduct,thesetypeofproductstendtohaveconsistentquality.Machine-madeproductshavetheadvantageofbeingabletousesomefinishesandmaterialsthatcannotbeusedwhencreatingsomethingbyhand.Thereincludesometypesofsteel,laminates,andenamelfinishes.

　　Ontheotherhand,handcraftedproductssometimesrepresenthighqualitywhichmaypossessnotonlyapracticalvaluebutalsothevalueofhistoryandcollection.Andwhenpeoplepurchasehandcraftedproducts,theyaresupportingtheartsandcraftscommunities.Buyingthesetypesofproductskeepsmanypeopleemployed,especiallyforthosewhoarelivingindevelopingcountry.

　　Fromwhatwediscussedabove,wecanclearlylearntheadvantagesofmachine-madeproductsandhand-madeproducts.Ibelieveifweneedtopurchasesomefurnitureorclothing,itisabetterchoiceforustochoosethehand-madeproducts,forthesetypesofproductstendtolastmuchlongerandtheyareunparalleled.However,ifweneedanelectricalproductorsomethingeconomical,themachine-madeproductisbetterthantheformerone.

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2020-01-31 18:52

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　　Itemsmadebyhandoritemsmadebymachine,whichdoyouprefer?

　　Nowadays,asmachinesplay（isplaying,as引导从句）amoreandmoreimportantpartinourwholesociety,andthequalityofmachine-madeproductsis（主语为thequality）acceptedbymostofus,while(表对比,两句子之间应有连词)itemsmadebyhandseemtohavebeen(被取代)replacedbythesemadebymachine;Howevertherearestillmanypeoplewhoholdahighvalueonhandcraftedproducts.Todecidewhichisbetter（两者间的比较）,oneshouldcomparetheadvantagesofeachmethod.

　　Firstofall,theadvantagesofmakingproductswiththeaidofmachinesareobvious.Forinstance,（factoriesthatpossessmachinescanimprovetheirefficiencyofworkwhichcannotbesurpassedbyhumanmade）建议从新组织一下.Anotherpartworthmentioningisthatweusuallyneedsomeaccurateoperationespeciallyforelectricalequipment,formachinesareverysteadyanddoexactlythesamethingeverytimetheyrecreateaproduct.(楼主注意句子的隔断,不要老用逗号)Thesetypesofproductstendtohaveconsistentquality.Machine-madeproductshavetheadvantageofbeingabletousesomefinishesandmaterialsthatcannotbeusedwhencreatingsomethingbyhand.There（可以做主语吗?These）includesometypesofsteel,laminates,andenamelfinishes.

　　Asisdiscussedabove（感觉更好）,wecanclearlylearntheadvantagesofmachine-madeproductsandhand-madeproducts.Ibelieveifweneedtopurchasesomefurnitureorclothing,itisbetter(此表达更为流畅)forustochoosethehand-madeproducts,forthesetypesofproductstendtolastmuchlongerandtheyareunparalleled.However,ifweneedanelectricalproductorsomethingeconomical,themachine-madeproductisbetterthantheformerone.

　　注：本人只是初中水平,能力有限,尽请楼主见谅!

2020-01-31 18:56:45

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