搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》

　　搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》

　　演员表：

　　西门吹雪

　　叶孤城

　　花满楼

　　打更的太监

　　旁白

　　道具：牛奶两袋,纸屑若干.

　　第一幕：决战乡村陌路

　　旁白：Aquietvillageiscoveredwithwhitesnow.

　　Birdsaredancinginthecold.

　　Amaniswalkingalongthestreet,stepbystep.

　　Windiscominginsilence.

　　Anothermysteriousmanapproaches.

　　打更的太监：Theweatherisdryandthingsareflammable,takecarenotcatchthefire!I’m打酱油的!

　　Y与X相遇．

　　X：Ohm,I’msorrytoknockyou!

　　Y:Ha-ha,Nevermindbaby.

　　X:Excuseme,Couldyoutellmeyourname?

　　Y:haha,Iwon’tchangemyname!Nomatterwhathappens.I’mthemostfamous——-YeGucheng（登登登登!）.Whoareyou?

　　X:I’mximenchuixue.

　　Y(惊讶):Ar,ximenchuixue?

　　X:Yes,whatiswrong?

　　Y:IheardthatyouarethebestMartialArts?

　　X:Great,youknowme!

　　Y(抱腿)：Please,please……Don’tkillme!Letmego!

　　X:No,Imustkillyou!

　　Y:Idon’twanttobekilled.Letmego!

　　X:Noway!Youknow?

　　Y(突然站起冷冷的说)：Don’tforceme!

　　X:Pardon!

　　(Y拿出一袋牛奶)

　　X(抢过牛奶):Milk,verygood!Ilikedrinkingit.

　　Y:Pleasedrinkit!

　　X(喝完牛奶):Thanks,ha-ha

　　Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?

　　X:Sure,must!Milkismilk.

　　Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood!Verygood!Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!

　　X:I’msureIwon’t!

　　Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon’tbeatyouthistime,I’llneverbehavingproperly!3-2-1-0

　　X(捂着肚子,蹲下)：Ouch,Ouch!

　　Y(大笑)：HaHa……

　　X(可怜状):Help!Help!Whereisthewashroom?

　　Y:What?

　　X:Toliet?

　　Y:What?

　　X:The“WC”?

　　Y:Oh,Isee,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacrossingroad!

　　X:Thanks,bye-bye.

　　Y(掏出纸屑吹):Thisisgenuinesnow!

　　H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!

　　Y:Whoareyou?

　　H:Hua—man—-lou!Haveyouseenximenchuixue?

　　Y:Yes,hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC”now,ha……

　　H(惊讶):Nowyouarethebestintheworld!

　　Y:Youareright!

　　H:Teriffic!YouaretheoneI’mlookingfor!Doyouwanttojoininme?

　　Y:Yes,It’sverygood.

　　H:Ok,followme;let’sgo!

　　Y:Ok,Let’sgo!

　　(Tobecontinued…)