我们班刚演过,获得了系里一等奖(孔雀东南飞英语搞笑剧本)虽然人物多了一个,可以有群众演员嘛

　　焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)

　　焦母johnny’smother(jmforshort)刘母lunch’smother(lmforshort)

　　太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)强盗burglars(abandc)

　　prologue

　　(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)

　　j:everybodysaysthati’mhenpecked,butinfact,i’mastrongtiger,(小声)whilemy

　　wifeiswusong.

　　(指着上台处的门大声道)i’mnotafraidofyou!

　　(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then,i’mafraidofwhom!

　　mywifelunchiisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.sheisbraverthanme,smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.allthisidonotcare.ionlywantshetobetenderthanme.butsheisnot!havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!

　　(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)

　　mygod!whocanhelpme?(下)

　　act1

　　(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)

　　jm(拄拐棍上):ican!

　　(对门内)lunch!lunch!whereareyou?

　　l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’mhere!what’sup,mum?

　　jm:ihavetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmotherinlaw”.

　　l:ok.mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?

　　jm:sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so

　　lazy……

　　l:but……

　　jm:neverinterruptme!

　　l:neverinterruptme!sinceimarriedyourson,thatterriblejohnny,ihavebeenworkinghardall

　　daylong,cookingandwashing.ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken

　　and……

　　jm:butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!

　　l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)goandaskyourson.i’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)

　　act2

　　(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)

　　l:mum,i’mback!

　　lm:youareback?why?whathappened?

　　l:iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.

　　lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see!ihavealreadytoldyou!whenyouinsistedon

　　marryingthatterriblejohnny,itoldyouthatheisuglytupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten

　　tome.lookatyourself……

　　l:but,mum……

　　lm:neverinterruptme!

　　l:mum,i’mnotinterruptingyou.ijustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightok?and

　　i’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.

　　lm(大喜):nicegirl!justnow,imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.hesaid:“ifyourdaughter

　　haven’tbeenmarried,ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”nowyouarefreeagain,i’llgo

　　andtellhim.(下)

　　l(惊愕):what?themayor’sson?themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅

　　铲掉在地上)whatasillythingihavedone!(下)

　　act3

　　(j睡眼惺忪上)

　　j(边走边道):lunch!lunch!wherearemysocks?

　　(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)heretheyare!(闻一下)er!howsmelly!theyarestilldirty!

　　(突然想起)lunchhasgone!ihavetowashthemmyself.

　　(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’msohungry!butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围

　　裙)thisiswhatlunchalwayswears!imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!now

　　shehasgone.ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.

　　jm(上):where’smybreakfast?where’slunch?hasn’tshegotupyet?

　　j:mum,can’tyouremember?lunchhasgone!

　　jm(沉吟片刻):well,totellyouthetruthjohnny,asonwi