i'mveryhonouredtohavethisopportunitytointroducemyself.MynameisXX,comingfromHubeiprovince.Iam17yearsold,butIstilllookveryshortandthin.Perhapsitisnotdoingexercisesregularlythatcontributestothisresult.Ilikeplayingbadmintonwithmyparentsafterdinner.Iconsideritasagoldentimeoftheday,becauseitmakemehappy.AnotherthingIcangetthesamefeelingislisteningtomusic.Tobehonest,IprefertoEnglishmusicratherthanChinesemusic.MyfavouritePOPsingerisKatyPerry.Ithinkhersongisveryinspirational.Ioftensinkmyselfintothemusicbeforefallingasleep.MydreamisthatonedayIcangotoCaliforniatoseeKatyPerryinreality,thisinspiresmetolearnandspeakEnglish.IdesperatelywanttobeoneofthestudentsinACCAclass.NotonlycanIimprovemyEnglish,butalsoIcanlearntobeanaccountantasIhope.ThisisthereasonwhyI’mbeinghere.IknowI’mnotanoutstandingpersonnow,butinuniversity,therewillbemuchsparetimeformetocatchupwithothers.IwilltrymybesttobethebestbecauseI’mwillingtofacechallenges.EvenifIfail,myoptimismwilltreat.That’sall,thankyou.

　　Itisreallymyhonortohavethisopportunitytointroducemyselfbriefly.MynameisXX.IcomefromHubeiProvince.AlthoughIam17yearsold,Istilllookveryshortandthin.PerhapsitismynotdoingexercisesregularlythatHAScontributeDtothisresult.Ilikeplayingbadmintonwithmyparentsafterdinner,WHICHIconsiderasagoldentimeofday,ANDTHATMAKESMEhappy.AnotherthingIcangetTHEsameGOODfeelingsislisteningtomusicANDSONGS.Tobehonest,IWOULDprefertolistenEnglishSONGSratherthanChineseONES.MyfavouritePOPsingerisKatyPerry.Ithinkhersongissoinspirational.IoftensinkmyselfintothemusicbeforefallINGasleep.MydreamisthatonedayIcangotoCaliforniaandseeKatyPerryPERSONALLY.SoIlikelearningandspeakingEnglish.IdesperatelywanttobeoneofthestudentsinACCAclass.NotonlycanIimprovemyEnglish,butIalsocanlearntobeanaccountantasIhopeTO.ThisisthereasonwhyI’mSPEAKINGhere.IknowI’mnotoutstandingnow.butinuniversity,therewillbemuchsparetimeTHATICANMAKEGOODUSEOFtocatchupwithothers.IwilltrytobethebestbecauseI’mwillingtofacechallenges.EvenifIfail,myoptimismwilltreat.That’sall,thankyou.

　　Itisreallymyhonortohavethisopportunitytointroducemyselfbriefly.MynameisXX,andIcomefromHubeiprovince.AlthoughIam17yearsold,andstillalittleshortandthin.PerhapsbecauseIdonotlikedoingexercises.ButIlikeplayingbadmintonwithmyparentsafterdinner.Iconsideritasagoldentimeofthewholeday,becauseIcanenjoymyself.ListeningmusicisanotherthingIcangetsamefeelings.Tobehonest,IpreferlisteningEnglishmusicratherthanChinese.MyfavouritePOPsingerisKatyPerry.Ithinkhersongissoinspirational.Ioftensinkmyselfintothemusicbeforefallasleep.MydreamisthatonedayIcangotoCaliforniaandseeKatyPerrypersonally.SoIlikelearningandspeakingEnglish.IdesperatelywanttobeoneofthestudentsinACCAclass.NotonlycanIimprovemyEnglish,butIcanlearnhowtobeanaccountantasIhope.ThisisthereasonwhyI’mstandinghere.IknowI’mnotoutstandingnow.butinuniversity,therewillbemuchsparetimeformetocatchupwithothers.IwilltrytobethebestbecauseI’mwillingtofacechallenges.EvenifIfail,myoptimismwilltreat.That’sall,thankyou.

　　第5行前面没有onething后面不能用anotherthing

　　listento

　　第7行Hersong....makesmeadeepimpression

　　地8行inreality改为facetoface

　　butIalsocanlearntobeanaccountantasIhope改为butalsoicouldrealizemydeeamtobeanaccountant

　　加上句Wherethereisawilthereisaway!

　　Itis（不可用really）my（加great）honortohavethisopportunitytointroducemyself（可省briefly）.MynameisXX。（加Iam）fromHubeiprovince.AlthoughI（不可用still）lookveryshortandthin，（不要说你平时不运动！！Iam17yearsold,.Perhapsitismynotdoingexercisesregularlythatcontributestothisresult.But）Ilikeplayingbadmintonwithmyparentsafterdinner.Iconsideritasagoldentimeoftheday,becauseIfeel（really）happy（todosomeexercisewithmyfamily).（用个更地道的AnotherthingIcangetsamefeelingsislisteningtomusic.）（加Also,Iamcrazyaboutmusic!)Tobehonest,IprefertolistenEnglishmusicratherthanChinesemusic.MyfavouritePOPsingerisKatyPerry.(去掉Ithink）hersong，，isso（改inspirational为inspiring).I（去often为always)sinkmyselfintothemusic(有歧义，去掉beforefallasleep）.MydreamisthatonedayIcangotoCaliforniaandseeKatyPerryin(去reality,当面是inperson).SoIlikelearningandspeakingEnglish.IdesperatelywanttobeoneofthestudentsinACCAclass.NotonlycanIimprovemyEnglish,butalsoIcanlearntobeanaccountantasIhope.(Iwilneverbemoreactiveorhappyorwell-preparedthaniamrightnow,Iwanttomakethemostofmycollegelife)ThisisthereasonwhyI’mbeinghere.(去Iknow）MaybeyouthinkI’mnotoutstandingnow.(加Howvever,Iamnothingbutaquitehardworkingstudent.)(去butinuniversity,therewillbemuchsparetimeformetocatchupwithothers).Iwill(去tryto自信点嘛！）bethebestherebecauseI’mwillingtoface（any）challenges.（去EvenifIfail,myoptimismwilltreat.That’sall）（加itisme,xxx,a17-year-oldboy/girlwithmyowndream.Willyouchooseher/him?Iwishyouthebestofluckineverythingyoudo!thankyou).

　　学长，加油你一定行的！：）