1.Plumber（水暖工）:I’msorryIwaslate.

　　Man:Whilewewerewaitingforyou,Itaughtmywifehowtoswim.

　　2.AssoonasEveatetheappleofwisdom[智慧],shereachedforthefig(无花果)leaf;

　　whenawomanbeginstothink,herfirstthoughtisofanewdress.

　　3.Son:Remember,Dad,ThomasEdisongotbadgradesinschool,too.

　　Father:Stayinyourroomuntilyouinventedthelightbulb.

　　4.Iamconvincedthatbothmylongageandexceptionalhealtharetobeexplainedby

　　anobviousfacts:Inevertouchedacigarette,adrink,oragirluntilIwasalmostten

　　yearsold.

　　5.Employertoapplicant:"Inthisjobweneedsomeonewhoisresponsible."

　　Applicant:"I'mtheoneyouwant.Onmylastjob,everytimeanythingwentwrong,

　　theysaidIwasresponsible."