1.TheWorld'sGreatestSwordsman

　　Atanexhibitionoftheworld'sbestswordsman,thethird-placefencertookthestage.Aflywasreleased,andwithanarcofhisswordhecuttheflyinhalf.Thecrowdcheered.Thenthesecond-placemanslicedaflyintoquarters.Ahushfellinanticipationoftheworld'sgreatestswordsman.

　　Hisbladecamedowninamightyarc-buttheinsectcontinuedonitsway!Thecrowdwasaghast.Thegreatestswordsmanhadmissedhistargetcompletely,yethecontinuedtosmile.

　　"Whyareyousohappy?"someoneyelled."Youmissed!"

　　"Ah,"repliedtheswordsman,"youweren'twatchingverycarefully.Theyflylives,yes-buthewillneverbeafather."

　　世界上最伟大的击剑手

　　在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中,排名第三的击剑手上场了.一只苍蝇放了出来,剑划了一个弧,他将苍蝇劈成了两半.观众欢呼起来.紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半.现场一阵沉默,人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场.

　　他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来－－然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了.最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标,然而他还在微笑着.

　　“你为什么这么高兴?”有人嚷道,“你没击中!”

　　“啊,”剑手答道,“你刚才没有很仔细地看.苍蝇还活着,是的－－但他永远也做不成爸爸了.”

　　2.HowMuchIsIt?

　　Itwaswinter,andMrs.Hermannwantedtodoalotofshopping,soshewaiteduntilitwasSaturday,whenherhusbandwasfree,andshetookhimtotheshopswithhertopayforeverythingandtocarryherparcels.Theywenttoalotofshops,andMrs.Hermannboughtalotofthings.Sheoftenstoppedandsaid,"Look,Joe!Isn'tthatbeautiful!"

　　Hethenanswered,"Allright,dear,Howmuchisit?"andtookhismoneyouttopayforit.

　　Itwasdarkwhentheycameoutofthelastshop,andMr.Hermannwastiredandthinkingaboutotherthings,likeanicedrinkbythesideofawarmfireathome.Suddenlyhiswifelookedupattheskyandsaid,"Lookatthatbeautifulmoon,Joe!"

　　Withoutstopping,Mr.Hermannanswered,"Allright,dear,Howmuchisit?"

　　多少钱?

　　严冬来临,荷曼太太想采购一大批东西,所以她就一直等到周六丈夫有空的时候,她拖着他去商店付钱连带拎包裹.他们去了许多商店,荷曼太太买了一大堆东西.她经常停下脚步说道：“看,乔伊!那个多漂亮!”

　　他总是回答：“好吧!亲爱的,多少钱?”然后掏钱去付款.

　　他们从最后一家商店出来的时候夜幕已经降临,荷曼先生已精疲力尽了.他心里想着其它事情,比如在家里暖暖的火炉边呷口美酒.突然他太太仰望天空,说道：“看那月亮多美,乔伊!”

　　荷曼先生不加思索答道：“好吧,亲爱的,多少钱?”

　　3.WeatherPredict

　　Afilmcrewwasonlocationdeepinthedesert.OnedayanoldIndianwentuptothedirectorandsaid,"Tomorrowrain."Thenextdayitrained.

　　Aweeklater,theIndianwentuptothedirectorandsaid,"Tomorrowstorm."Thenextdaytherewasahailstorm.

　　"ThisIndianisincredible,"saidthedirector.HetoldhissecretarytohiretheIndiantopredicttheweather.

　　However,afterseveralsuccessfulpredictions,theoldIndiandidn'tshowupfortwoweeks.

　　Finallythedirectorsentforhim."Ihavetoshootabigscenetomorrow,"saidthedirector,"andI'mdependingonyou.Whatwilltheweatherbelike?"

　　TheIndianshruggedhisshoulders."Don'tknow,"hesaid."Radioisbroken."

　　天气预报

　　一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.

　　一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.

　　"印度人真神,"导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气.

　　几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了.

　　最后,导演派人去把他叫来了."我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?"

　　印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了."

　　4.ANailOrAFly?

　　Anoldgentlemanwhoseeyesightwasfailingcametostayinahotelroomwithabottleofwineineachhand.Onthewalltherewasaflywhichhetookforanail.Sothemomenthehungthemon,the