【求英文好的人帮忙改一下作文,论题为男人和女人谁该多做一些家-查字典问答网
分类选择

来自郭春明的问题

  【求英文好的人帮忙改一下作文,论题为男人和女人谁该多做一些家务和带孩子.我的论点是女人Theoreticallyspeaking,itisequallyacceptableformenandwomentostayhaveandtakecareofthechildren,butinmyopinion,】

  求英文好的人帮忙改一下作文,论题为男人和女人谁该多做一些家务和带孩子.我的论点是女人

  Theoreticallyspeaking,itisequallyacceptableformenandwomentostayhaveandtakecareofthechildren,butinmyopinion,Thereisadistancebetweenidealityandreality.Thereneverwasanabsolutejustice,weshouldkonwthisandacceptit.Ihavetosay,inmyopinoin,womenshoulddothemajorofhouseworkandlookingbabyformosttime.Thoughinthemodernsocietywomenalsohavemanyjobsandtheirowncareer,butbecauseofbeingamother,theywerebornkonwingmoreaboutbabyandtheyaremorecarefullythanmenindailylife.Sometimesit'sridiculousforamantolookforababy,Idon'tmeanthis"job"isawfulbutitwilltroublesalot,asIknow,most"dady"madethingsgobad,andattheend,mothersevendidmorethanbefore.itreallymattersalot,doesn'tit?Tobehonest,Beingamen,wedoearnmorethanwomen,wehavetoberesponsibleforourhome,ourcareer,ourfamilierswehadsomuchtodoandwehavetofacekindsofproblem,Idon'tthinkweareperfectenoughtotakeallthingsonourshoulders,wehaveasayinglikethis,"theremustbeagreatwomanbehindforeachsuccessfulman"wedoneednotonlytheirsupport.buttheiractions.

  Inoneword,Ijustwanttosay,afamilyisnotjustahousewelivetogether,butapalcewebuildourlove!so,moreunderstanding,moreforgiving

1回答
2020-03-28 09:58
我要回答
请先登录
何海萍

  看了一哈,我就随便说两句吧.我是搞数学的不妥之处谅解.

  1.开头的itisequallyacceptableformenandwomentostayhave,我总觉得menorwomen(即and改成or)顺口点,你的stayhave是不是stayhome?

  2.Ihavetosay,inmyopinoin,womenshoulddo……,总觉得前面有个inmyopinoin了,这里又来一个inmyopinoin有种重复感觉.就说Ihavetosaywomenshoulddo……,或Iwanttosaywomenshoulddo……

  3.就接着上面说的句后面,即womenshoulddothemajorofhouseworkandlookingbabyformosttime,major是形容词,就直接majorhousework啦,去掉of吧;后面lookingbaby似有不妥,照顾小孩应用短语lookafter,前面的动词do就没有用ing形式,这里look也不用吧.我觉得mosttime前面加个the顺口点,感觉而已.

  4.接下来,你那句butbecauseofbeingamother,theywerebornkonwingmoreaboutbaby……,你想说的是女人作为母亲,天生就比男人更会照料小孩,天生的或注定要成为的短语是bebornto,所以应改为theywereborntokonwmoreaboutbaby……

  5.Sometimesit'sridiculousforamantolookforababy,这句又是“照料”这个短语,lookfor是寻找,应lookafter.

  6.第六个不敢乱说,但我总感觉Idon'tmeanthis"job"isawfulbutitwilltroublesalot这句,will改成would好听些,两者区别一时我也说不出来.

  7.第6点后面跟着的asIknow,你是另一句开头了,as前面是点号,as大写As.

  8.跟着句子后面来了个“,andattheend,”,我认为应该改为intheend,最后的意思,intheend相当于atlast,finnaly,是副词.attheend通常后边要跟上其它成分,即完整的形式是:attheendofsth,意思是"在...的末尾,在...结束的时候".

  9.继续看走,你“mothersevendidmorethanbefore”,你全篇用的是现在式,我认为那个did改为do吧.

  10.继续看走,跟着的“itreallymattersalot”,it大写为It

  11.继续看走,“Tobehonest,Beingamen,”坦率诚恳地说,作为一个男人,作为“一个”男人,应该与men矛盾,你后面用的是women,那men不动,我认为去掉a吧.

  12.ourhome,ourcareer,ourfamiliers的“家庭”单词打错,应families.families后加点句号,后面跟着的we大写.

  13.继续看走,你的wehavetofacekindsofproblem,“kindsof”是各种各样的,那问题烦恼应该多,所以problem加s用复数.

  14.继续看走,你的perfectenoughtotakeallthingsonourshoulders,我总觉得allthings中加个the,即allthethings.

  15.继续看走,后面跟着的wehaveasayinglikethis,我喜欢用Thereisasaying

  16.也是我的最后了,Inoneword,Ijustwanttosay,我读到这里建议干脆把“Ijustwanttosay”删掉,上面的大段全部都是你说的,你到这里来个总之我仅仅想说,听起不舒服,建议而已,你再读一哈感觉.

2020-03-28 10:02:57

最新问答

推荐文章

猜你喜欢

附近的人在看

推荐阅读

拓展阅读

  • 大家都在看
  • 小编推荐
  • 猜你喜欢
  •