Phraseslike"tigermom"and"helicopterparent"havemadetheirwayintoeverydaylanguage.Manyofusfindourselvesdrawntotheideathatwithjustabitmoreparentalhardworkandeffort,wemightturnoutchildrenwithbright
Phraseslike"tigermom"and"helicopterparent"havemadetheirwayintoeverydaylanguage.Manyofusfindourselvesdrawntotheideathatwithjustabitmoreparentalhardworkandeffort,wemightturnoutchildrenwithbrightfutures.Butisthereanythingwrongwithakindof"overparentingstyle"?
Parentalinvolvementhasalonghistoryofbeingstudied.Manyofthestudies,conductedbyDianaBaumrind,afamouspsychologistattheUniversityofCalifornia,Berkeley,havefoundthatagoodparentistheonewhoisinvolvedandreactstoherchildinapositiveway,whosetshighexpectationsbutgivesherchildindependence.These"authoritativeparents"appeartohitthesweetspotofparentalinvolvementandgenerallyraisechildrenwhodobetteracademically,psychologicallyandsociallythanchildrenwhoseparentsarenotstrictandlessinvolved,orcontrollingandmoreinvolved.Whyisthisparentingstylesosuccessful?
Authoritativeparentsactuallyhelpimprovemotivationintheirchildren.CarolDweck,asocialpsychologistatStanfordUniversity,hasdoneresearchthatindicateswhyauthoritativeparentsraisemoremotivatedchildren.Inatypicalexperiment,Dr.Dwecktakesyoungchildrenintoaroomandasksthemtosolveasimplepuzzle.Mostdosowithlittledifficulty.ButthenDr.Dwecktellssome,butnotall,ofthekidshowclevertheyare.Asitturnsout,thechildrenwhoarenottoldthey'resmartaremoremotivatedtosolveincreasinglydifficultpuzzles.Theyalsoshowhigherlevelsofconfidenceandshowgreaterprogressinpuzzle-solving.
Astheexperimentsuggests,praisingchildren'stalentsandabilitiesseemstoshaketheirconfidence.Dealingwithmoredifficultpuzzlescarriestheriskoflosingone'sstatusas"smart".Dr.Dweck'sworkstronglysupportsthatofDr.Baumrind,whoalsofoundthatreasonablysupportingachild'sindependenceandlimitinginterference (干涉) causesbetteracademicandemotionalresults.
Thecentraltaskofgrowingupistodevelopasenseofselfthatisindependentandconfident.Ifyoutreatyouryoungchildwhoisjustlearningtowalkasifshecan'twalk,youreduceherconfidence.Allowingchildrentomakemistakesisoneofthegreatestchallengesof