Story1

　　AhLianaskshopkeeper:

　　EhAhchek,ugotsellstockinguptoknee,boh?

　　AhChekreplied:Lusiaoah!stockingwearupto'yeo'(waist)only,wheregotuptothe'nee'(breast)one.

　　Story2

　　AhBengboughtaHondaVTIrecentlyanddrovetoAhLian'splacetoshowittoher.AhBengwasbraggingthevariousfunctionsofhisnewcartohisgirlfriend.

　　"Thisisah,sofasteventheMataChiacannotcatchah!"

　　"Ha!Reallyah!Steadylah!"saidAhLian.

　　"Somemorehor,thisisAutomaticone,velyeasytodrive!"

　　SoAhLiansaid,"Letmetry!Iwan,Iwan!"

　　SoAhLiantookthedriver'sseatandshiftedthegearandflooredtheaccelerator.

　　Thenextmoment,thecarspedbackwardsandcrashedintothelamp-post.

　　"Alamak!Whatudoing?USiaoCharBo!Useelah!WahPiangeh!"screamedAhBeng.

　　"Solee,solee,paisahlah!Nolah,Itothor,"R"forracingmah!"*

　　Story3

　　TheTitanicwassinking,andthereweren'tenoughlifeboats.

　　Sothecaptainhadtopersuademalepassengerstojumpintotheicywaterstomakeroomforwomenandchildren.

　　TotheBritishhesaid."Youmustactlikegentlemen."Theyjumped.

　　TotheAmericanshesaid,"Youcanbeheroes."Theycomplied.

　　TotheGermanshesaid,"It'stherule."Theyobeyed.

　　TotheJapanesehesaid,"It'stheconsensus."Theyobliged.

　　ThencametheSingaporeanandtheyjustweren'tbudginguntilhecameupwiththeappeal:"Freelifejacketsforthosewhojumped."

　　Story4

　　3recruits-Chinese,Malay&Indianareatthearmysupplybasetocollectunderwear.Thesergeantwastheretoaidthesupplies.

　　Sergeant:HeiAhBeng!Howmanyunderwearyouneedah?

　　AhBeng:(thinksawhile)7sasen(sergeant)!

　　Sergeant:(puzzled)Howcomesomany?

　　AhBeng:Mon,Tues,Wed,Thurs,Fri,Sat&Sun.Onedayone.

　　Sergeant:(toMalayrecruit)EhMat!Howmanyunderwear?

　　Mat:(withouthesitation)6sargen!

　　Sergeant:(curious)Howcomesix?

　　Mat:Mon,Tues,Wed,Thurs,Sat&Sun.FridayIwearsarongonly.

　　Sergeant:(Indianrecruit)DeiTambi.Howmanyunderwearsdahdei?

　　Tambi:(veryconfidently)12Sarjen!

　　Sergeant:(shocked&nearlyfelltotheground)Whyyouneedsomanyfor?

　　Tambi:January,February,March.Onemonthone.

　　Story5

　　OnedayagroupofAhBengssteppedintoanightclubandwantedtheDJtoplaythesong"AhChengBueyRoTi"(InHokkienmeansAhChengbuysbread).

　　TheDJtoldthemthattheyonlyhaveandplayEnglishsongsandtoldthemtore-selectanothersong.

　　TheAhBengswereveryangryandkickedupabigfuss,claimingtheDJwasinsultingthem.Themanagerhadtointerveneinordertocalmthemdown.

　　Finally,afteralongtalkwiththeAhBengs,themanagerfoundoutthattheAhBengswasactuallyaskingforthesong:

　　"UnchainedMelody"bytheRighteousBrothers.

　　Story6

　　Oneday,twoAhLiansgotintoaliftfromthe20thstoreyandwanttogetdowntothegroundfloor.Astheylookedatthedial,theycouldseethenumber20downtonumber2.ItwasthenfollowedbyaG.

　　AstheywerenotEnglish-educated,theywerepuzzledandhadnoideawhatdoestheletterGmean.SuddenlyoneofthemexclaimedexcitedlyandpressG.

　　Whe