BarttheGeneral

　　BarttheGeneralWrittenbyJohnSwartzwelder

　　DirectedbyDavid

　　Interioroftheoven,cupcakesbaking.Homeropensthedoor,andMarge

　　explainsthatLisa'sbakingthemforherteacher.Doorcloses.Bart

　　opensthedoorandreachesin,butMargeyankshimaway.Lisa

　　icesthemostrecentbatchofchocolatecupcakes...

　　Bart:Youknow,therearenamesforpeoplelikeyou.

　　Lisa:Notherearen't.

　　Bart:Teacher'spet!Applepolisher!Butt-kisser!

　　Homer:Bart,you'resayingbutt-kisserlikeit'sabadthing!

　　--``BarttheGeneral''

　　HomertellsBartitneverhurtstogreasethewheel,butLisadeniesthat

　　she'sdoingitforthegrades.Shegetsgoodgradesbecauseshepays

　　attentionandstudieshard.Homergrabsacupcake,andthekidsdashoff

　　whentheschoolbushornhonks.Lisanipsbackintimetograbthe

　　cupcakebeforeHomercaneatit.(``D'oh!'')

　　BartcomplainstoOttothatLisabakedabatchofcupcakesforherteacher

　　andisn'tlettinghimhaveevenasinglecrumb.Lisahandsoveracupcake.

　　``Here,Otto.Imadeanextraoneforyou.''

　　BarttakestheseatnexttoLisa,andwhenthebussetsintomotion,the

　　boxjostles,andBarthelpscatchit.Lisagrabstheboxback.

　　Bart:Yousnivelingtoad!Youlittleegg-sucker!

　　Lisa:[holdingsecureherboxofcupcakes]Tellmemore!

　　Bart;Back-scratcher!Boot-licker!Honorstudent!

　　Lisa:[smirking]You'llnevergetonenow,name-caller.

　　Bart:Allright,allright.Look,I'msorry.I,Igotupset.

　　Intheheatofthemoment,IsaidsomethingsIdidn'tmean.

　　Lisa:[milkingit]Youweren'tthinking,wereyou.

　　Bart:No.

　　Lisa:I'masnivelingtoad,amI?

　　Bart:Notreally.

　　Lisa:I'malittleegg-sucker,amI?

　　Bart:Ofcoursenot.

　　Lisa:ThenwhatamI?

　　Bart:Abeautifulhumanbeing.

　　Lisa:[coyly]Whatdoyoulikebestaboutme?

　　Bart:[staringatthecupcakes]Well,I'dhavetosay...

　　Yourgenerousnature,yourspiritofgiving.

　　Lisa:Well...[thinks]Openyourmouthandcloseyoureyes,andyouwill

　　getabigsurprise.

　　Bart:[doesso]

　　Lisa:[getsup.Thebusstops,andacupcakefallsoutofthebox.

　　LisapicksitupandshovesitintoBart'smouth,thenleaves]

　　Bart:[munching]Thanks,Lis.You'rethebest!

　　--``BarttheGeneral''

　　Onceoffthebus,abullygrabsthecupcakesandgoesthroughthebox,

　　takingonebiteoutofeachbeforediscardingit.Bartthreatensthe

　　boy,butLisawarnsBartthatthekidisafriendofNelsonMuntz.

　　Theboypretendstohandoverthebox,butdropsitandstompsonit.

　　ThisprovestoomuchforBart,wholeapstoattackthekid.Ascuffle

　　ensues(withtheotherkidscheering),andahandreachesinandgrabs

　　Bart.It'sNelson,whoholdsBartharmlesslyatarm'slength,then

　　tosseshimaside.Nelsonisbleeding.Heexplainsthathealways

　　getsotherpeople'sbloodonhisface.Butthistime,itreally

　　hisblood.

　　Itwasanaccident,man.Aterrible,ghastlymistake.

　　--Barttriestotalkhiswayoutofanotherjam,``Bartt