Lather,rinse,repeat.LongtimereadersmayrecallthatIwasnotafanofSpider-Man2,amoviewhoseobsessiveadherencetoformulamadeitplaymorelikeahalf-heartedremakeoftheoriginalthanasequel.I'mhappytoreportthatSpider-Man3hasaddedsomenewingredientstotherecipe,thoughsomewhatlesspleasedtonotethatit'saddedseveraltoomany:anothercrisisofidentityforPeterParker;arollercoasterofaffectionandenmitywithhisbestfriendHarry;newrevelationsabouthisUncleBen'sdeath;multipleinterlockinglovetriangles;anothercalamityinvolvingheavymachinery;andnotone,nottwo,butthreenewsupervillainsdedicatedtosquashingSpider-Man.

　　This,evidently,iswhathappenswhenyourstar,TobeyMaguire,hasexpresseddoubtsaboutmakinganyfurthersequels.(Asheputitawhileago,"Itfeelslikeatrilogytome,anditfeelsliketheend.")Earlyon,therewasreportedlysomediscussionofdividingthedevelopmentsinSpider-Man3intotwofilms;instead,DirectorSamRaimihascrammedeverythingintoone$250-plusmillion,two-and-a-half-hourbehemoth,themostexhaustingmassentertainmentsincePeterJackson'sKingKong.Everyplotthreadistiedup,everycharactercompleteshisassignedarc,andeveryspecialeffectstechnicianontheplanetwillbeabletoputfoodonthetableformonthstocome.Evenviewerswhoenjoythemovie--andforfansofthefranchisethere'splentytoenjoy--mayberelievedthatthiscouldbethelastweseeofthewebcrawlerforawhile.

　　WhenwefirstdropbackinonPeterParker(Maguire),he'sfacinganoveldilemma:happiness.He'swonthelovenotonlyofsweetheartMaryJane(KirstenDunst)but,moreimprobably,ofNewYorkCity.Eventhenewspapersareexplaining"WhyNYsSpidey."Peterissogiddyathisgoodfortunethatwe'resoonbeggingforasuper-baddietocomealongandknocktheinsipidgrinoffhisface.

　　Itdoesn'ttakelong.PeterandM.J.areloungingawayasultryeveninginadecidedlyuncomfortable-lookingwebhammockwhenasmallmeteorcrashesmerefeetaway--whataretheodds?--andreleaseswhatappearstobeaninky,ambulatorybooger.ThisbitofvillainoussnotfollowsPeterhomeandsoontakestheformofarubbery,blackSpider-Mancostume.AprofessorfriendofPeterexplainstohimthatit'sadangeroussymbioticlifeformthatheshouldavoidatallcosts,buthetakestowearingthesuitanyway:Itseemstoenhancehissuperpowersand,besides,itgoeswitheverything.

　　Inthemeantime(expectthisphrasetocomeupofteninanydiscussionofthefilm),athiefandmurderernamedFlintMarko(ThomasHadenChurch)escapesfromprisonand,whilefleeingpursuit,fallsintoapitinwhichanuclearexperimentistakingplace.Hisbodyisquicklydisintegratedandthen,rathermoreslowly,re-integratedfromgranulesofsand.Dubbed"Sandman"bytheever-literalpress,hefindshehastheabilitytotakeanyshapehechooses,fromtoweringgolemtodustinthewind.InkeepingwiththeimmutablelawthatanySpideyvillainmusthaveaconnectiontoPeter'spersonallife,Marko/Sandmanissoonrevealedtohavebeen...well,youcanfindoutforyourself.Itwillcomeasnosurprise,though,toreportthatPeter'soldfriendHarry(JamesFranco)hasalsodecidedatlasttofollowhissupervillaindad,thefirstmovie's"GreenGoblin,"intothefamilybusiness.

　　ThechallengesfacingPeterarenotsolelyofthesuperpoweredvariety,however.HisrelationshipwithM.J.has