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  跪请英语高手帮我改一改六级作文!Direction:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteashortassayonthetopicofRankingUniversities.Youshouldwritealleast150wordsaccordingtotheoutlinegivenbelow.目前很流行给

  跪请英语高手帮我改一改六级作文!

  Direction:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteashortassayonthetopicofRankingUniversities.Youshouldwritealleast150wordsaccordingtotheoutlinegivenbelow.

  目前很流行给大学排名

  1.有人对此支持

  2.有人则不赞成

  3.我认为…..(高手们请多在语法和词汇上给我挑毛病提建议,)

  RankingUniversities

  Inrecentyears,anewphenomenonhasbeenbroughtintofocusthatrankinguniversitiesbecomesmoreandmorepopular,whichdifferentindividualsholddeferentviewsabout.

  Somegivesupportforrankinguniversities.Foronething,theybelieve,seniorstudentsknowbetterwhichuniversityisthebestaccordingtotherankoftheuniversities,thentoobtaintheentranceadmissiontothatuniversitiesprovidesthemenergytostudyhardconstantly.Foranother,foruniversitiesstudents,therankoftheuniversitiesprovidesabetterawarenessoftheirownsituation.

  Othersholdtheopposite,however,thereasontheygivetoaccountfortheiropinionisthatpeoplefailtoapplyscientificcriteriontorankuniversitiesinsomecases,whichwillmisleadtoanawarenessofsomeuniversities.

  Frommyownperspective,boththetwoviewsareright.It’snecessarytorankuniversitiesundertheconditionthatrankuniversitiesinascientificway.Onlyinthiswaycanweexpectatruebenefitfromrankinguniversities.

1回答
2020-05-02 05:24
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  总体来说,这篇文章的结构很清晰,第一段点题,点明文章主旨,不能仅有一句话,至少要有两句话;第二段、第三段用事实论证主旨;最后一段总结一下,即用另一种说法把主旨复述一下.这在六级作文中是比较占优势的,因此你在接下来的练习中也要按照这种格式来写.结构上唯一的缺陷就是你结尾并未明确提出自己的观点,你应该只能同意上述两个观点中的一个,那就是赞成rankinguniversities还是反对.

  另外,这篇的语言较平乏,虽然用了很多从句,但错误很多,另外,词汇量也不够,字数也有点少,接下来我简略谈一下这篇的词汇和语法:

  1.whichdifferentindividualsholddeferentviewsabout,about是多余的,而且用一个从句指代不明,因此可改为,However,people'sopinionsvaryfromonetoanother/differentindividualsholddiferentviews.

  2.theybelieve,seniorstudentsknowbetterwhichuniversityisthebestaccordingtotherankoftheuniversities,thentoobtaintheentranceadmissiontothatuniversitiesprovidesthemenergytostudyhardconstantly.这句话顺序有点问题,可改为theybelievethataccordingtotherankoftheuniversitiesseniorstudentscanknowbetterwhichuniversityisthebest,andthentheywillstudyhardconstantlyinordertoobtaintheentranceadmissiontothatuniversities.

  3.Othersholdtheopposite这后面最好加个views

  4.theiropinion应改为theiropinions;scientificcriterion应改为scientificcriteria(criterion的复数),因此作文中要注意单复数的问题.

  5.misleadtoanawarenessofsomeuniversities中mislead是及物动词,后不可接介词,这句可改为misleadsomestudentsabouttheexactsituationsofsomeuniversities.

  6.boththetwoviews应改为bothofthetwoviews.

  7.It’snecessarytorankuniversitiesundertheconditionthatrankuniversitiesinascientificway.Onlyinthiswaycanweexpectatruebenefitfromrankinguniversities.这句话有点累赘,可改为It’snecessarytorankuniversitiesunderascientificway,andonlyinthiswaycanweexpectatruebenefitfromrankinguniversities.

  以上是我对这篇文章的一些建议,希望能够对你有所帮助.

2020-05-02 05:27:03

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