CatandMice猫和老鼠MrsBrownwenttovisitoneofherfriendandcarriedasmallboxwithholespunchedinthetop."What'sinyourbox?"askedthefriend."Acat,"answeredMrsBrown."YouseeI'vebeendreamingaboutmiceatnightandI'msoscared!Thiscatistocatchthem.""Butthemiceareonlyimaginary,"saidthefriend."Soisthecat,"whisperedMrsBrown.猫和老鼠布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子.“盒子里装的是什么?”朋友问道.“一只小猫,”布朗夫人回答说,“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠,我非常害怕.这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠.”“可老鼠都是假想的呀.”朋友说.“小猫也是假想的.”布朗夫人小声说道.ReachedShoreFast快速靠岸AguyIknowwastowinghisboathomefromafishingtriptoLakeHuronwhenhiscarbrokedown.Hedidn'thavehiscellphonewithhim,buthethoughtmaybehemightbeabletoraisesomeoneonhismarineradiotocallforroadsideassistance.Heclimbedintohisboat,clickedontheradioandsaid,"Mayday,mayday."ACoastGuardofficercameonandsaid,"Stateyourlocation.""I-75,twomilessouthofStandish."Afteraverylongpause,theofficerasked,"Howfastwereyougoingwhenyoureachedshore?"在休伦湖钓完鱼后,我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家.路上车坏了.他没带手机,不过,他想,也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助.于是,他爬到他的船里面,启动了无线装置,喊道,“求救,求救”.一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应,“报告你的位置”.“I-75号公路,Standish的南面两英里”.沉默了好一会之后,警官问我的朋友,“你的船靠岸时开得有多快?”TheMeanMan'sParty吝啬鬼的聚会Thenotoriouscheapskatefinallydecidedtohaveaparty.Explainingtoafriendhowtofindhisapartment,hesaid,"Comeuptothefifthfloorandringthedoorbellwithyourelbow.Whenthedooropen,pushwithyourfoot.""Whyusemyelbowandfoot?""Well,gosh,"wasthereply,"You'renotcomingempty-handed,areyou?"一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了后,再用你的脚把门推开.”“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”“天哪!”吝啬鬼回答,“你总不会空着手来吧?”那就更糟了MuchWorseMuchWorsePoliceman:Whydidn'tyoushoutforhelpwhenyouwererobbedofyourwatch?Man:IfIhadopenedmymouth,they'dhavefoundmyfourgoldteeth.Thatwouldbemuchworse.中文：警察：有人抢你的手表时,你为什么不呼救呢?男子：要是我张口的话,他们就会发现我的四颗金牙.那就更糟了.