请高手帮忙修改一篇4级作文,并评价指正,Forthispar-查字典问答网

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　　请高手帮忙修改一篇4级作文,并评价指正,Forthispart,youareallowed3ominutestowriteanannouncementtowelcomestudentstojoinaclub.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsfollowingtheoutlinegivenbelowinChinese:1本社团的

　　请高手帮忙修改一篇4级作文,并评价指正,

　　Forthispart,youareallowed3ominutestowriteanannouncementtowelcomestudentstojoinaclub.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsfollowingtheoutlinegivenbelowinChinese:

　　1本社团的主要活动内容

　　2参加本社团的好处

　　3如何加入本社团

　　WelcometoOurClub

　　Hello,guys!Welcometoourclub.OurclubisanEnglishclub,whichwasfounded4yearsago.Inourclub,weregularlyholdsomeEnlishdebatesorcompetitionsopeningfortheclubmembers.WehavealsoorganisedanEnglishcorneronTuesdayeachweek.Onconditionthatyoujoinourclub,youwouldbefacedwithmoreopportunitiesandbenefits.

　　Inthefirstplace,havingatalkwiththeundergraduateswhocomefromthesameuniversityasyouorwithaforeignteacherwillhelpyoumakegreatprogressinEnglish.Inaddition,bymeansoftalkingwithothers,wecannotonlysharedifferentideasandexperienceswitheachother,butalsoopenupoureyesandmakesomegoodfriends.Lastbutnoleast,havingarelaxingtalkwithothersbringsphysicalandmentalbenefits.Consideringourexhaustingandstressfulcollegelife,atalkenablesustospeakinanopenair,withamoreharmoniousatmosphere.Inthisway,youwouldforgetyourstressandbusyshoolwork.

　　Inconsequence,IstonglyrecommendthatyoushouldjoinourEnglishclub.Giving10RMB,bringinganapplicationform,andcomewithyourenthusiasmeinlearningEnglish,youwillsucceedinjoiningourclub.Now,it'shightimewetalkedEnglish,let'sgo!

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2020-05-14 08:24

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　　WelcometoOurClub

　　Hello,guys!Welcometoourclub.OurclubisanEnglishclub,whichwasfounded4yearsago.Inourclub,weregularlyholdsomeEnlishdebates【and】competitionsopeningfortheclubmembers.We【alsoorganise】anEnglishcorneronTuesdayeachweek.Onconditionthatyoujoin【in】ourclub,youwouldbefacedwithmoreopportunitiesandbenefits.[befaced感觉是被动接受的样子,最好用主动]

　　Inthefirstplace,havingatalkwith【the去掉】undergraduateswhocomefromthesameuniversityasyou【,加上逗号可能表意更清楚点】orwithaforeignteacherwillhelpyoumakegreatprogressinEnglish.Inaddition,bymeansoftalkingwithothers,wecannotonlysharedifferentideasandexperienceswitheachother,butalsoopenupoureyesandmake【some可去掉】goodfriends.Lastbutnoleast,having【a去掉,因为后面是others】relaxing【conversations,这个词可能比talk要出彩】withothersbrings【you】physicalandmentalbenefits.Consideringourexhaustingandstressfulcollegelife,a【talk换成pleasantchat】enables【you】tospeakinanopenair,withamoreharmoniousatmosphere.Inthisway,youwouldforgetyourstressandbusyshoolwork.

　　Inconsequence,IstonglyrecommendthatyoushouldjoinourEnglishclub.【Bringing10Yuanwith】anapplicationform,and【coming】withyour【enthusiasm】inlearningEnglish,youwillsucceedinjoining【in】ourclub.Now,it'shightime【forustotalkin】English,let'sgo!

2020-05-14 08:25:24

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