求帮忙评价一下托福作文打个分~Doyouagreeordis-查字典问答网
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  求帮忙评价一下托福作文打个分~Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement:Studentsaremoreinfluencedbytheirteachersthanbytheirfriends.Sinceteachersarefrequentlycalledmetaphoricallygardeners,itseemsthatthisstatem

  求帮忙评价一下托福作文打个分~

  Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement:

  Studentsaremoreinfluencedbytheirteachersthanbytheirfriends.

  Sinceteachersarefrequentlycalledmetaphoricallygardeners,itseemsthatthisstatementdomakessense.HoweverIholdafirmviewthatstudentsaremorelikelytobeaffectedbytheirfriendsbasedonreasonsfollow.

  Firstly,thelengthoftimeofgettingonwithstudentsisfundamentalforinfluence.Apparently,studentsonlyhaveopportunitiestogetalongwithteachersduringclasswithmostofthesetimeconcerningtextbook,examandsoforth.Whenitcomestofriends,however,thingsaredifferent.Friendscompanyeachothernearlyeveryminuteinthewholedayespeciallyforstudents.Forexample,astudentmightbeinfluencedbyhisfriendswhiletheyhangoutaroundtheschool,eatlunchtogetherormoreoften,takeaclasstogether.Thus,howcouldateachercompareawholedaycompaniedfriend?

  Secondly,itismucheasierforstudentstobeinfluencedbytheirfriendsforamyriadofcommontopicstheyhave.AsIindicateabove,topicsbetweenstudentsandteachersaremostlytiresomeandutilitarianconcentratingongrade.Comparedwiththis,topicsamongfriendsaremorecolorfulwhichwillofcourseinfluencestudentsinmanyaspectsandinvariousways.Let’stakeonetypicaltopicsinasexamples.Gossipisthepermanenttopicbetweengirlsandwhiletheyaretalkingaboutit,theyareinfluencingeachotherbytheirjuvenilebutsharp-cutopinionofsomestars’behaviorslikeasuperstarcheatedhisgirlfriend.Effectslikethisplayanon-ignorableroleintheconstructionofstudents’ownworldview.

  Thelastbutmostsignificantreasonisthatstudentsarecloserwiththeirfriendsratherthanteachers.Normally,onaccountofalong-termeducationaboutrespecttoteacher,studentsonlytreatteachersasadistantemotionlessperson.Whatevenworseisthestudents’reversephysiologythatmakesthemdotheexactlycontrarythingthattheirteacherstellthemto.Butamongfriends,theyareinsimilarageandareequalthereforetheyrespecteachotherandareeasilytobeconvincedorinfluenced.Forinstance,ateacherappealsstudenttodonatemoneyforsomereasonsometimesendsupwithnothingbutcri

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2020-05-29 14:58
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  楼上也太敷衍了吧.

  各种空格没打不是什么大问题,但比如“thisstatementdomakessense”就不该出现,应为“doesmakesense”.

  无论句号逗号后面都必须有空格.

  如果你认为第三点最重要,那就把它放在第一点的位置.(其实为觉得第一点和第三点差别不大,你可以合并他们再加一个反方观点)

  如果我打分的话,按你综合写作满分算,应该写作是24左右.

2020-05-29 14:59:38

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