请帮忙批改一篇托福独立作文Doyouagreeordisag-查字典问答网

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　　请帮忙批改一篇托福独立作文Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement:Playingsportsteachespeoplemorelessonsaboutthelife.Acrosstheworldmanysportshavetheirowncharacteristics,butmanyofthesesportshavesimilara

　　请帮忙批改一篇托福独立作文

　　Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement:Playingsportsteachespeoplemorelessonsaboutthelife.

　　Tobeginwith,playingsportscanteachushowtocooperatewithothers.Somesportsneedtobuildateam.Intheteam,ourheartmustholdtogethersothatwecanbeatotherteamsandintheprocess,welearntocooperate.Inthecaseofbasketball,abasketballteamconsistsofmanypeople.Inamatch,ifeveryonejustusedtheirownmethodsandnotthinkaboutotherstheymusttheloser.Theyjustuseonemethodthattheythinkouttogetherandcooperatewithothersintheteamtheycanwinthematch.Soplayingsportsteachesusthelessonofcooperation.

　　Besides,welearnpersistenceintheprocess.Notallsportswecanfinishinashorttime.Forinstance,themarathonisonesportwhichneedsalongtimeandstrongperseverance.Amarathonisalongdistanceraceandonlybyfinishingthislongdistancewecanwin.Itisimpossibleforapersonwholacksperseverancetorunthecompletedistance.Evenifyouaresotiredandthereremainsjustonemeterwhichyoudidnotfinishyoualsofailed.Soduringthemarathon,aslongasweinsistonrunningcompletingthetotaldistancecanwewin,evenifsometimeswearesotiredthatwewanttogiveup.Thisisanotherlessonthatwelearnfromplayingsports.

　　Finally,playingsportscanteachushowtochoosethethingthatisproperustodo.Sometimes,choosingajobislikeplayingsports.Wehavetochoosethejobthatiswithintherangeofourability.Playingsportsislikethis,suchasashortdistanceracerequiresapersonwhoishealthyandnoheartdisease.Acardiacpatientneedstochooseothersportswhichhavenoeffectsonhishearttokeepfit.Sointheprocessofchoosingsportstokeepfitwecanlearnhowtochoosethethingwhichissuitableforus.

　　Allinall,playingsportsisbeneficialthing.Itteachesushowtocooperatewithothersandhowtoadheretodoanything.Mostimportantisthatitteach

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2020-05-29 09:22

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聂晴晴

　　Acrosstheworldmanysportshavetheirowncharacteristics,butmanyofthesesportshavesimilarattributes.Entertainingisoneoftheattributesthatpeoplecanrelaxanddecreasestress.Besidesentertaining,moreimportantisplayingsportscanteachushowtoworkasateam,andhowtowinandmakechoiceinourlife.首先第一段开头就不是很好,完全看不出来你在回答题目的问题,可以更直接些说sportsteach了人们什么事情.比如说：Itotallyagreewiththestatementthat.说自己认为sports教会人们很多很多的事情.最后说咱就说几点最重要的方面,然后列出来这几点.

　　接下来,就可以展开说明了.第二段,论点不错,但是英语水平可以看出来,基础不扎实,表达不准确,咱是中国人,看懂你想说啥了.改卷老师就困难了.语法啊,还是有不少错误的,感觉每句话都有～

　　第三段,语法啊.我给你稍微改下吧：Besides,welearntobepersistentbyplayingsports.(不给你改动句子了.)第二句要倒装啊～否定的放在前面嘛～notallsportscanwefinishinashorttime.还有onlybyfinishingthislongdistancewecanwin.也要倒装的,canwewin.后面还有语法错误我就不一一指出来了～

　　第四段,这我只想说一点错误,其他的前面都有说过,你是在说sports,所以最好改成：sometime,playingsportsislikechoosingajob.是拿choosingajob来比较sports的～想一下,别饶晕了·～

　　总的来说,语法错误真的不少,这样的文章分数我不用说了,直接看OG就可以自己判断出来了的·～感觉,好像是高中生的作文,如果是高中生的话～那恭喜楼主～思维不错,已经有了写托福作文的思路了～平时注重下语法～

　　语法如果都不对的话,老师是肯定看不懂的～这不是平时生活中哦～

2020-05-29 09:25:43

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