新托福独立作文求批改~在家工作好不好正文:Haveyouev-查字典问答网
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  新托福独立作文求批改~在家工作好不好正文:Haveyoueverworkedforafulldaylongperiodwithoutanybreak?Haveyoueverfelthelplessbecauseofnopearsaroundyouwhenfacingtoaproblem?Haveyoueverhadasenseoflonenessf

  新托福独立作文求批改~

  在家工作好不好

  正文:

  Haveyoueverworkedforafulldaylongperiodwithoutanybreak?Haveyoueverfelthelplessbecauseofnopearsaroundyouwhenfacingtoaproblem?Haveyoueverhadasenseoflonenessforstayingalldaylongathome?

  Ifyouhavesomekindsoftheseexperience,youwillknowworkingathomeusingcomputersortelephonesinsteadofworkingintheofficeisabadidea.Reasonsarecommingasfollows:

  Workingathomecanlowertheeffectivenessandthusresultinkeepingworkingalldaylong.Insteadofofficeworkingtime,norestrictworkingisneededwhenyouareathome.Thatmeans,youcangotoworkineverytinyperiodoftime.Freedomyoucanfeelright?However,inotherway,freedomofworkingtimemeansnofreedomofrestingtime.Youmaykeepalldayworkingbecauseofthepileofjobsnevergodown.Nosayingtheworkingtime,howabouttheefficency?Noonewouldjustifyyourefficencyanymore,andthusyourworkingeffectivenesswillbelower,makinglesscontributetothecompany.So,workingathomedonogoodtoaregularworkingtimeandmaylowertheefficiency.

  Workinginanofficehavemanybeneficials.Oneofthemostobviouslybenefitisthat,youcancooperatewithyourofficepartners.Nowadaysweallvaluecooperationveryhighforthereasonthat,"Cooperationisproductivity"Imagingthatwhenyouhaveanassignmenttodesignacomputerhardware,howmuchyouneedateamorcooperationgrouptofufillthisgoal.Admitedly,workingathomemayprovideyouaquitesurroundingsforinspirations,butthisjustanaspectofthetotalassignment,youstillneedgroupworkswhichhome-workingcannotprovideyou.Insum,workinginofficecanhelpyoucommunicatebetterwithyourpartners.

  Workinginoffice,insometimes,workasagroup,willsurelyincreaseyourrelationshipwithpartners.Allofusarefreshbodies,weallneedfriendshipstokeepahealthymind.Soworkinginoffinecansurelyprovideusanopiniontogetsuchkindsofrelationships.

  Tosumupallmyopinions,althoughworkingathomecanprovidesomeconveniencesuchasfreescheduleandquietsurroundings,it'sbenefitscannotconquirthatofworkinginoffice,whichcanproveourofficency,helpuscooperatebetterandincreaseourrelationshipbetweenot

1回答
2020-05-29 09:37
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刘济玉

  这个我顶多给你16分.一上来就这么多语法错误是不行的.美国人跟我们中国人一样,印象是很重要的.你的复杂句语病太多,表达不准确,用词太低级.说明态度还是有点不太认真——对于文字的精准度自己要求不够高.建议你好好找人看一下你的语法问题,你这个语法问题绝对不止10处,我看了两段就挑出10多处了...

2020-05-29 09:37:59

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