六级作文求批改!推迟退休年龄Recentlytheissue-查字典问答网
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  六级作文求批改!推迟退休年龄Recentlytheissueofpostponingtheretirementagehasbeenbroughttopublicdiscussion.Thereisnodoubtthatitisareallyquestionthatweshouldthinkabout.Facedwithit,quiteafewpeoplearguethatit

  六级作文求批改!推迟退休年龄

  Recentlytheissueofpostponingtheretirementagehasbeenbroughttopublicdiscussion.Thereisnodoubtthatitisareallyquestionthatweshouldthinkabout.Facedwithit,quiteafewpeoplearguethatitistheperfectwaytosolvewiththisproblem.

  Ofcourse,everythinghasadvantagesanddisadvantages.Postponingtheretirementagewillmitigatethefinancialdeficitandreducethepress-ionoffeedingontheoldforyouth.Nevertheless,italsobringsotherproblems.Wecanseethatthestudentshavebigdifficultyinfindingjobsnow.Ifwepostponetheretirementage,itwillbefrombadtoworse.Somejobsarenotsuitedfortheoldtodoaswell.Ifthepolicyiscarriedout,theywillfeelreallygrief.

  Frommypointofview,Idobelieveweshouldrelievethepolicyofrestrictingbearing.Ifwedothis,therewillbemorepeopletofeedontheold.

1回答
2020-06-06 18:49
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曹棠跃

  第二句There开始我觉得这样写比较好:

  Thereisnodoubtthatthisproblemstartstoattractthepublicattention.然后接下来那句不是completesentence,而且我不太明白你的意思,你是说怎样才是perfectway去解决问题?但是怎样解决你并没有在句子中指出.

  然后最好一个段落开头不要用ofcourse,你可以直接删除掉,然后写Therearealwaysbothnegativeandpositivesidesofthings.

  然后下面都还不错.然后wecanseethat那里有点小语法错误,是studentsarehavingdiffculitiesinfindingjobsaftergraduation.不要用now.后面那句badtoworse用词不太准确,可以说gettingworse.后面一些工作不适合老人做改成:Somejobsarenotsuitableforelders.

  最后一段我不太明白什么叫morepeopletofeedontheold...

  总体来说六年级作文写成这样已经很好了.但是有些词语用法和sentencestructure不太成熟.可以多看看书,记住一些句型,

2020-06-06 18:51:19

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