【Asweallknow,timeismoreimporta-查字典问答网
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来自刘连庆的问题

  【Asweallknow,timeismoreimportantthanmoney.Wewilltakepartintheentranceexaminationtoseniorhighschoolnextyear.Sowemustconcentrateonstudynow.However,someofthestudentarealwayswastingtime.Theyoftenspendmoretimeplaying】

  Asweallknow,timeismoreimportantthanmoney.Wewilltakepartintheentranceexaminationtoseniorhighschoolnextyear.Sowemustconcentrateonstudynow.

  However,someofthestudentarealwayswastingtime.Theyoftenspendmoretimeplayingcomputergames,watchingTVorsurfingtheInternet.Whattheydomustbebadfortheirstudy.

  SOIthinkwemustmakegooduseofourtime.First,inclass,wearesupposedtolistentotheteacherscarefully.Then,afterclass,weshouldtryourbesttoexercisemoretomakeusenergetic.Ifwedon'twastetime,wemustgetbetterandbetter.I'msurewecanmakeit!

  这篇作文求改写

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2020-06-14 00:37
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齐维贵

  Asweallknow,timeismoreimportant【建议改成valuable】thanmoney.Wewilltakepartin【theentranceexaminationtoseniorhighschool建议改成collegeentranceexamination】nextyear.Sowemustconcentrateonstudynow.

  However,someofthestudentarealwayswastingtime.Theyoftenspend【more没有对比,你还是给成many吧】timeplayingcomputergames,watchingTVorsurfingtheInternet.Whattheydo【mustbe是对现在的推测,此处不妥】【badfor这种搭配过于枯燥建议改成】theirstudy.【整句建议Whattheydotendstobeunfavorabletotheirstudy】

  SO【改Therefore吧】Ithink【别老用这种表达,改asfarasIcansee】wemustmakegooduseof【建议改个表达takefulladvantageof】ourtime.First【建议改firstandforemost不过你后面又没有second之类的,要有逻辑性】,wearesupposedtolistentotheteacherscarefully【inclass】.Then,afterclass,weshould【tryourbestto可省略】exercisemoretomakeusenergetic.【Then,afterclass别自己乱断句】Ifwedon'twastetime,wemust【will...】get【become】betterandbetter.I'msurewecanmakeit!【it是什么?自己知道阅卷老师知道吗?】

2020-06-14 00:39:23

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