雅思作文求打分求批改Inthepresentage,thep-查字典问答网

来自沈雪松的问题

　　雅思作文求打分求批改Inthepresentage,theparentsandteacherswhohavetheresponsibilitytoteachchildrenhavesparkedmuchdebate.Thisessaywilldiscussbothsidesinthisissue.Somepeopletendtothinkthatparentsisthebestguide

　　雅思作文求打分求批改

　　Inthepresentage,theparentsandteacherswhohavetheresponsibilitytoteachchildrenhavesparkedmuchdebate.Thisessaywilldiscussbothsidesinthisissue.

　　Somepeopletendtothinkthatparentsisthebestguideofchildren`slife.AsfarasIamconcerned,thisviewmaybebasedontheconsiderationthatparentswillgivemoreinfluencetochildrenthanschool.Itisreasonableduetothefactthatchildrenlivewithparentsforalongtimebeforegoingtoschool.Thereforeeducatingchildrentoknowhowtoshowthererespecttoelderpeopleandobeytherulesofsocietyiswidelybethoughttheresponsibilityofparents.

　　Ontheothersideofthedebatethough,manyindividualsarguethatmaybeparentscannotgivethecorrecteffecttothechildrenthustheyconsiderthatschoolshouldplayanmainlyroleintheeducationforchildren,therebyavoidingtheharmfuleffect.Theyclaimthattheyhaveconfidenttoeducatethechildrengrowuptogoodmembersofsociety.Forinstanceschoolhavegoodeducationalfacilities,excellentteacherandperfecteducationalsystem.

　　Onthebasisoftheabovefactors,myconclusionisthatbothofthechildren`sschooldayandfamilydayareimportanttochildren.So,forteachingthemtobegoodmembers,weshouldtakemoreattentiontothemandgivethemthefirst-classeducationnotonlyfromschoolbutfromparentsaswell.

　　好久没看过英语了.语法上感觉错误很多,句子很生硬.求批改.

1回答

2020-06-20 16:44

我要回答

请先登录

李前

　　Inthepresentage,isparentsorteachersareresponsibleforteachingchildrenhavesparkeddebates.Thisessaywilldiscussebothsidesoftheissue.

　　Somepeopletendtothinkthatparentsisthebestguideinchildren`slife.thisviewmaybebasedonthefactthatparentinghavemoreinfluenceonchildrenthanschooling.Itisreasonablebecausechildrenmostlyhavelivedwiththeirparentsforalongtimebeforeenteringschool.Therefore,letchildrenknowhowtoshowtheirrespectstoelderpeopleandobeytherulesofsocietyiswidelybeconsideredastheresponsibilityofparents.

　　Ontheothersideofthedebate,manyindividualsarguethatparentsmightnotalwayshavethepositiveeffectsonchildren,thustheyconsiderthatschoolshouldplayamainroleincultivatingchildren.Theyclaimthattheyhaveconfidenceinbringingthechildrenuptobetalents.becauseschoolhavegoodeducationalfacilities,excellentteachersandsoundeducationalsystem.

　　inconclusion,bothoftheschoolingandparentingareimportanttochildren.So,forcultivatingthemtobetalent,weshouldpaymoreattentiontothemandgivethemthedecenteducation.

　　总的来说还可以,至少我知道你要说什么,段落分配也可以,但是.问题很多,有的地方都没法改,首先词汇量太小,词汇不够多样化且用词不规范,突出表现为用词太绝对化,可信度不足,搭配混乱（correcteffectto.==）.其次,逻辑不明,逻辑连接词太少,这个是大忌,然后,句式单一,语法错误太多,接着,讨论问题太宽泛,举例很不深入,给人感觉很多地方在同义重复.最后,最重要的一点废话太多了,记住批卷的人是老外不是喜欢同义重复的中国人,老外看到废话连篇会皱眉,老外会觉得你这么多废话有凑字数嫌疑,还有老外从来不说educatpeople.

2020-06-20 16:48:55

最新问答

推荐文章

猜你喜欢

附近的人在看

推荐阅读

拓展阅读