雅思作文task2批改评分Somepeoplebelieve-查字典问答网
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  雅思作文task2批改评分Somepeoplebelievethatchildren'sleisureactivitiesmustbeeducational,otherwisetheyareacompletewasteoftime.Doyouagreeordisagree?Inthepresentage,theissueofhowchildrencanspendtheirleisuretimeis

  雅思作文task2批改评分

  Somepeoplebelievethatchildren'sleisureactivitiesmustbeeducational,otherwisetheyareacompletewasteoftime.Doyouagreeordisagree?

  Inthepresentage,theissueofhowchildrencanspendtheirleisuretimeisincreasinglydisturbing.Somepeoplearguethattheirleisuretimeshouldbeeducated.Personally,Iagreewiththeirview,butIwouldqualifyittosomeextent.

  Itisapparentthatteachingchildrenhowtousetheirfreetimeeffectlyplaysapivotalroleintheirgrowth.Tobeginwith,thechildrenwillacquiremoreknowledgeafterstudy.Theirteachersorparentscanusethismethod,notonlytoletthemunderstandsomeusefulinformation,butalsocanrelaxtheirmindsandeasetheirminds.Therefore,thisisagoodwaytoimprovethemselves.Moreover,thismethodcansavemuchtimeforchildren.Asthestudent'sstudiesarebecomingincreasinglyharder,theyshoulddedicateontheirstudy.Therefore,theyhavelesstimetobroadentheirhorizons.Additionally,educatingchildrenwhentheyarefreecanalsohelptheirstudying-thatistosay,whentheystudyinginthefuture,theycanusetheseinformation,andtheirstudywillbemoreefficient.

  Besides,someindlvldualsthlnkthatthisistheirrighttodistributetheirfreetime.Themainreasonlsthateverybodyhashisorherrighttodothings,especiallyforthechildren.Whentheyfinishedtheirhomeworks,thechildrenshouldplaymoretorelaxthemselves,nottoteachthemagain.Nonetheless,asmanychildrencannotcontrolthemselvestoday,weshouldintroducethemtoplay.Asamatteroffact,thechildrenwillreceivemore,providedthatweuseagoodmeasuretohelpthem.

  Overall,thechildren'sleisuretimeshouldbeeducational,therebytheycanacquiresuccesseasilyinthefuture.

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2020-06-20 16:51
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兰风崇

  初评5.5-61.结构不错,语法正确,有少量拼写错误2.第三段与第二段的逻辑关系是转折,应该用however等等3.主要问题是用词趋于简单,句式还不够多变,论证不够深入但详实4.结尾太简单,时间不够么?修改后提出的论点减少,论证...

2020-06-20 16:55:18

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