【请各位给点评打分雅思作文populareventslike-查字典问答网
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来自杜庆伟的问题

  【请各位给点评打分雅思作文populareventslikethefootballWorldCupandotherinternationalsportingoccasionsareessentialineasinginternationaltensionsandreleasingpatrioticemotionsinasafeway.agreeordisagree?Overall,Iagre】

  请各位给点评打分雅思作文

  populareventslikethefootballWorldCupandotherinternationalsportingoccasionsareessentialineasinginternationaltensionsandreleasingpatrioticemotionsinasafeway.agreeordisagree?

  Overall,Iagreewiththeopinionexpressed,Ithinkitisasafewaytoreleasingpatrioticemotionsandagoodchancetoessentialineasinginternational.

  Tobeginwith,intheinternationalsportingoccasions,justliketheWordCup,alltheplayersaredelegatetheircountry’shonor,atthattime,people’spatrioticemotionsreachedthetop,andallfocusthesport,hopetoshowtheirbest,thealsoveryunitewithoutthebiasandtherace,attheendofeveryteamswhicharefinishedthegameintheWordCup,alltheplayersareexchangetheirclotheswiththeopponents,it’safriendlycompartment,andalsocanessentialineasinginternationaltensions.SimilarlyintheOlympicGames,attheclosingceremony,alltheplayerswhatevertheycomefromdifferentcountriesanddifferentraces,evensomeofthemwho’scountryarefightingwithanother,allofthemarehandinhandandhopeforpeace.

  Inaddition,it’salsoagoodchancetounfoldthecultureaboutyourcountry,people’sspecialcheerandfullofpassionbutpolitenesstoexpresstheiremotions,cangiveagoodimpressiontoothercountry.

  Finally,thesportsareanequallyandpeacefullyathletics,soIthinkitmaybeoneofthebestwaytoreleasingpatrioticemotionsandessentialineasinginternationaltensions,butalsoasafeway.

1回答
2020-06-20 19:05
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沈磊

  偏题了,论证不够有力,错误很多,字数也不够吧

  首先论题这句话是说,像世界杯这样的国际体育赛事是非常重要的缓解国际关系紧张和释放爱国情绪的安全的方式.这句话里“areessentialin”是说明“对...非常重要”的意思,你在整篇文章里都把它和easinginternationaltensions连在一起了.另外,“theircountry’shonor”应为“theircountries'honor”,这类错误不少.

  你用的句子太长,很多没有必要,并没有用到句型的变化,只是用逗号代替了句号而已,这样既没有加分还造成了错误.还不如用短句.

  论题包含两个要素,缓解国际关系紧张和释放爱国情绪

  我觉得你只写到了第二点,而且结尾总结时写的是体育,而不是国际体育赛事.国际体育赛事是体育的一种形式,你可以写体育是公平平等的,但是最后一定要把国际赛事点出来.

  agreeordisagree这种题型,第一段表明论点,后面有大概三段举例论证,第四段总结.最好有实例,爱国情绪可以写北京奥运自己的感受之类的.

  我不是专业的,估计这篇作文5分以下,还要多努力啊

2020-06-20 19:09:30

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