新托福作文求批改~~在家工作好不好正文:Haveyoueve-查字典问答网
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  新托福作文求批改~~在家工作好不好正文:Haveyoueverworkedforafulldaylongperiodwithoutanybreak?Haveyoueverfelthelplessbecauseofnopearsaroundyouwhenfacingtoaproblem?Haveyoueverhadasenseoflonenessfor

  新托福作文求批改~~

  在家工作好不好

  正文:

  Haveyoueverworkedforafulldaylongperiodwithoutanybreak?Haveyoueverfelthelplessbecauseofnopearsaroundyouwhenfacingtoaproblem?Haveyoueverhadasenseoflonenessforstayingalldaylongathome?

  Ifyouhavesomekindsoftheseexperience,youwillknowworkingathomeusingcomputersortelephonesinsteadofworkingintheofficeisabadidea.Reasonsarecommingasfollows:

  Workingathomecanlowertheeffectivenessandthusresultinkeepingworkingalldaylong.Insteadofofficeworkingtime,norestrictworkingisneededwhenyouareathome.Thatmeans,youcangotoworkineverytinyperiodoftime.Freedomyoucanfeelright?However,inotherway,freedomofworkingtimemeansnofreedomofrestingtime.Youmaykeepalldayworkingbecauseofthepileofjobsnevergodown.Nosayingtheworkingtime,howabouttheefficency?Noonewouldjustifyyourefficencyanymore,andthusyourworkingeffectivenesswillbelower,makinglesscontributetothecompany.So,workingathomedonogoodtoaregularworkingtimeandmaylowertheefficiency.

  Workinginanofficehavemanybeneficials.Oneofthemostobviouslybenefitisthat,youcancooperatewithyourofficepartners.Nowadaysweallvaluecooperationveryhighforthereasonthat,"Cooperationisproductivity"Imagingthatwhenyouhaveanassignmenttodesignacomputerhardware,howmuchyouneedateamorcooperationgrouptofufillthisgoal.Admitedly,workingathomemayprovideyouaquitesurroundingsforinspirations,butthisjustanaspectofthetotalassignment,youstillneedgroupworkswhichhome-workingcannotprovideyou.Insum,workinginofficecanhelpyoucommunicatebetterwithyourpartners.

  Workinginoffice,insometimes,workasagroup,willsurelyincreaseyourrelationshipwithpartners.Allofusarefreshbodies,weallneedfriendshipstokeepahealthymind.Soworkinginoffinecansurelyprovideusanopiniontogetsuchkindsofrelationships.

  Tosumupallmyopinions,althoughworkingathomecanprovidesomeconveniencesuchasfreescheduleandquietsurroundings,it'sbenefitscannotconquirthatofworkinginoffice,whichcanproveourofficency,helpuscooperatebetterandincreaseourrelationshipbetweenoth

1回答
2020-05-29 09:52
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富士通

  托福大忌——用疑问句!楼主第一段危险.

  这是一道利弊题

  应该用万金油解法.你这篇第一二段稍重复.

  你这还有一个大问题,少例子.你三段一个例子没有,再一个危险.

  这个判的严我估计18封顶了.

2020-05-29 09:57:03

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